You Are All Individuals!

 

Percentages and Absolute Numbers - Cleavage or Thighs?

 

I better label this post as "Humour" just in case...

Its a continuation of this blog post long ago:

Focus On Our Strengths

Let's imagine you are a landowner. 

You got two servants.

One servant managed to grow 10,000 bushels of wheat into 100,000 bushels of wheat from the previous year. 

A 10 fold increase in yield!

The other servant manage to increase 950,000 bushels of wheat to 1,000,000 bushels of wheat this year. 

Its a new milestone! This is the first time your farms have ever crossed the million bushel mark!

How?

Who would you praise more?

And how would you reward and incentivize your servants going forward?

P.S.  If you don't have real life experience as a landowner or shepherd, you can turn the question into:

If you got $10K and $950K to invest as separate positions, which asset class or vehicle would you choose for each?

And why?

How To Always Make Money In Stocks?

 

1.  TEACH others (for a generous fee) HOW to make money in Stocks.

2.  Bring in SPACs, Technology funds/ETFs, Data Centre REITs, S-Chips, or anything that's "hot" for the season, and SELL them to the unsuspecting Late Majority or Laggards.

When something is new, risky, or unknown, that's for early adopters and early majority. When you read about it in blogs, broker's recommendations, or mainstream financial websites, don't kid yourself...

 

3.  IPO the business you started. (This one good, better, best!)

Its OK to Sleep Late - you are more Creative, Smarter, and Beautiful!

 

Not I say one!

Love to sleep in? Science says its because you're creative

Creative people sleep more, later, and less well

Good news from science: night owls are smarter and more creative

LOL!

Early risers, hope you've a sense of humour and can take a poke. You belong to the horde, school, flock, and pride. So don't go "triggered" on me!

Just like there are left-brained people, there are also right brained people.

Sometimes in our "enthusiasm", we often make the mistake of assuming there's only one way to Rome - what works for me must automatically work for others!

Long, long time ago, during my early days of story telling, I wrote this Grasshopper and Ant story that set the tone for this watering hole - its OK to be different.

If you're a penguin, stop listening to people telling for you to succeed, you need to soar up high in the skies...

Fish friend, yes you! Why do you set goals and plans to climb trees? I know that's what monkeys do, but have you looked into the mirror lately?

Little swan, don't feel awkward and self-conscious just because you look different from your duck friends. Embrace yourself. You're beautiful in your own way.

Oh! I've left out beautiful, haven't I?

This one no need "experts" to tell us. 

I can tell all the beautiful ladies out there are smiling...

And guys lucky enough to wake up to the company of pretty women, you know I know right?

They sleep like pigs in the mornings, but boy! They sure are scintillating in the night!

Why 1M65 CPF Acolytes Always Count In Money...

 

Noticed something funny?

When you see Earn More retail "investors" share their end of year portfolio returns, its almost always in percentages.

But when Save More 1M65 CPF acolytes share their end of year CPF "returns", its ALWAYS in money as in dollars and cents?

Why?

To avoid the awkwardness and embarrassment when you noticed you're wearing the SAME shirt or dress as everyone else at a party?

In the immortal words of Oprah Winfrey,

"You get 4%, you get 4%; everyone gets 4%!"

LOL!

Bad Decisions

 

If we can't laugh at ourselves from time to time, it simply means you are trying too hard...

Die lah! Your family of 4 don't earn $6500 per month...

Family of four needs $6,426 a month for basic standard of living in S'pore.

Let's round it up to $6,500 per month since I hate "precision" when its not needed.

Which means we can assume the man is making $3,500 and the wife makes $3,000?

(OK, OK. For feminists, we can easily say husband makes $3,000, while wife makes $3,500. There. Happy?)

If husband makes $6,500 per month, to have a better standard of living, the problem is easily "solved" by having wife go back to work. 

I mean their children are not babies right?

My time before maids were popular, when both parents work and children were left at home on their own, they were known at latchkey kids.

Now what happens if a family of 4 only earns $5,500 per month. And both husband and wife works. Die! Below basic standard of living!!!

How to overcome the shortfall of $1,000 per month?

What if I come "selling" the benefits of a dividend portfolio? 

I mean all this couple need is "just" have a $250,000 portfolio of dividend stocks that yield 5% per year. 

Problem solved!

Gee. Thanks!

Wait. 

How do this couple amass the $250,000 capital in the first place?

I mean first they have to increase their income to $6,500 per month, no? 

Unless you tell me the researchers got it "wrong"? $6,500 is not the basic standard of living? Its much lower?

To start saving, its only when their household income is above $6,500 per month before they can afford to save any surplus... Can we agree on this?

To save $1,000 per month, the couple have to increase their household income from $5,500 to $7,500 per month!?

And they would still need 20 years before they can have their hands on that "fabled" $250,000 capital to play the dividend income game!!!

Has anyone spotted the Elephant in the room?

If this couple can increase their earned income by $2,000 per month, is there still the need to wait 20 years for that dividend income!!!???

LOL!

What if the same couple meet the 1M65 people?

Would the 1M65 people awkwardly shy away from any families that make $6,500 and below per month?

Or would the 1M65 people still encourage voluntary contributions to CPF? 

I mean, man up! 

A little bit of austerity never killed anyone. 

Just take $1,000 from their current $5,500 per month and voluntarily contribute to CPF. The interests will compound and compound until...

Look! You both are already making so little mandatory contributions to CPF due to your low salaries... 

Cannot! 

Like that how to survive when you both retire???

No, don't live for today, we must live in the future! 

If we fail to plan, we plan to fail...

"Chotto matte"...

Pray tell how should this family of 4 survive on $4,500 per month again?

Giving advice is easy when the pin don't prick your own skin...

There's another "easy" solution.

Report on minimum income standards not an accurate reflection of basic needs

Well, that was quick!

What if the basic standard level of living income, for a family of 4, according to big daddy's calculation is $4,500 per month?

(Big daddy gives a knowing nod and wink to the 1M65 people. Don't worry. I got your backs)

Problem solved!!!

Invite the researchers for "coffee" for stirring shit?

What do I think?

Well, I know my own feet, I don't need others to tell me what basic standard of living shoes I should wear. 

Who wants "basic" shoes anyway?

I want comfortable shoes. Wink.

There are some ang-moh bloggers who can retire to Phuket or Chiang Mai on $1,500 passive income per month. Tell the whole world they have achieved FIRE before age 35...

Then there are non-HDB heartlanders in our community who would treat any retirement incomes below $10,000 per month as "hardship"...

Its like asking others how much you need to retire?

Now that's a dumb question!

Earn More; Save More.

Do both!

But focus on Earn More if you need to prioritise.

Don't believe?

Show me countries, companies, families, or individuals that achieved prosperity through austerity?

Too Focused On Opportunity Costs Can Drive You Mad!

 

Question: How often have you spotted Emperors not wearing any clothes?

I just spotted one recently.

So funny. 

Its about the so called "research" that if we use less CPF and more cash to service our housing loans, one of the examples (theory one of course) showed we could get our hands on a cool extra $800K from our CPF interests alone!

Its that easy! 

Just by not touching our CPF for housing loans!!!

Why stop there?

If we want to play Opportunity Costs "manipulation", I have more to contribute!!!

The CPF Ordinary Wage ceiling is $6,000 per month.

The maximum amount of mandatory and voluntary contributions that a person (employee or self-employed person) can make in a calendar year is subject to the CPF Annual Limit of $37,740. (Or $3,145 per month)

1. High Wage Earner/Corporate High Flyer

Let's say at age 30 you are earning more than $10,000 per month, imagine if big daddy only caps CPF contributions from the employer side, and no artificial salary cap from the employee side, how?

Isn't that easier? No need to do voluntary CPF contributions some more!

Think of all the CPF interests in hundreds and hundreds of thousands (maybe millions?) you are leaving on the table by not being able to max out your CPF contributions from employee side, in tandem with your salary growth, as a corporate high flyer!!!

Time to talk to your MP?

2. Old Fogey Savvy Long Term Successful Investor

This old fogey will advise his children - must invest! 

Why settle for a few percentage in CPF interests when he had enjoyed around 20% annual returns from investing with Warren Buffett's Bershire Hathaway stock for 3 decades and more?

Just calculate the obscene amount of money he would have left on the CPF table had he only saved and not put money to work for the past 30 years....

 

3.  Youths High On Cryptos

These youths must be scratching their heads, "Why settle for single or double digit compounding when we could have exponential compounding with cryptos?"

I mean crypto acolytes are counting 2 baggers, 5 baggers, 10 baggers in years; not decades!

Ah! Never trust any adults above age 30. They have no clue what talking them!

4.  Entrepreneurs that made it

Eh... If you became a billionaire overnight from listing your startup in HK or Nasdaq, or able to afford Good Class Bungalows in your 30s, never mind your business not listed yet...

I would think you have more exciting ideas swirling in your head than concerning yourself with "eating water melons all the way to the green bits"...

Ding!

The Peanut Joke

Those of you who got study cost accounting may know this Peanut Joke.

If you haven't, I would strongly recommend you read the link below. 

Especially if you are into Fundamental Analysis that sort of thing:

Funny Story on Activity Based Costing

Knowledge is just potential energy; its power only when we know how to apply it! 

Theory and Practice

 

IT guys can be funny!

I must say there are days in trading and investing that felt like programming!!!

Where is the Capital of Japan?

 

My sales colleague was so eager to troll me yesterday by asking me that question.

What would you have answered?

Of course I answered, "Tokyo."

"Wrong!" my colleague trolled excitedly. "Japan has no capital city!"

 

He showed me this "official" source:

Tokyo is not the capital of Japan

How?

What would be your response?

If it said so in the internet, it must be so!

Especially if its written by a Japanese himself!

You in turn go round parroting this new found "knowledge"; trolling others in turn?

Look! You all are idiots! I so very de smart!

Let me ask you another question.

Who's your mom?

If your mom divorced your dad and she remarried someone else, does that mean she's no longer your mom?

How about if your were adopted?

Or if your dad got you another step-mom when he remarries? 

How? 

Stupid right?

I "schooled" my sales colleague that Tokyo is the de facto capital of Japan lah!

In Japan, where the Emperor lives, that's where the capital is. (All those hours reading manga and watching anime finally paid off!) 

Girls, try this on your boyfriends if you brave.

Ask him, "Where is the capital of Singapore?"

Majority will reply that make you go, "I'll have to spend the rest of my life with him?"

Then once in a while, you'll get the rare gems....

"The capital of Singapore is in my heart. That's where I find you too..."  

That's why most literary writers and poets may look like toad, but they sure can impress the panties of girls real quick!

LOL!

爸爸姓什么？99%的人都猜不出！

 

Life as IT Dinosaur

 

Just the other day, my sales colleague was shocked I don't have "PayLah!"

He helped me with a purchase on a weekday; saved me a 2 hour trip to-and-fro back to the store.

When he said I can pay him back with "PayLah!", eh...

Lucky he was kind (and liquid) enough to wait till the weekend for me to pay him the few hundreds I owed in CASH.

I'm definitely not an Early Adopter when it comes to new technology.

Although I'm a laggard, I do find it cool to see youths making payments with their watches and mobile phones.

But nah... 

I'll stick with cash, and continue to read books and newspapers in the hardcopy mode.

But I know I'll have to change one day. That's a given.

Especially when they start shaming me for not being environment friendly with my penchant for paper...

Well, don't be smug.

Try swiping your ass with your mobile next time you ran out of paper in the toilet!

Ding! Ding!

Ma'am, the delay of your order is due to jam at Suez canal...

 

If you have bought any home appliances or furniture recently, you may experience some delays.

I know I have. 

The IKEA wall shelving that's supposed to arrive in mid-March has now been delayed to mid April.

I not in a hurry to move in to my new place. Time is on my side. Heck, I don't even have a move in dateline or goal...

Well, in my weekend sales gig, halve my product range is now out of stock. Shipment delayed. 

First thing I ask new customers  is when is their delivery expectations. If they can't wait till early May, I'll promote another brand that got stock, or pass the customer to another promoter.

I'm not the dog in the manger. If I can't do any sales; no one else should also.

As for pending customers expecting deliveries this April, some are "easy" like me, "No worries. I can wait." 

These customers are the best! Like the Thai song, "Sabai, sabai..." 

Then there are those irate customers who rightfully are angry and frustrated. You know, the precision in 2 decimal places, Just-In-Time, SMART goals people.

I tell them, "tongue-in-cheek", the delay is due to the "jam" at the Suez canal.

While getting a earful, I have a fun time figuring out which customers know geography, which doesn't.

LOL!

One sales staff cannot take it anymore and chided me.

"You full of shit. Your products are made in China, Vietnam, and Indonesia. What has the jam at the Suez canal got to do with the delays for your brand?

So I gave this colleague a lesson on what is bei kambing knowledge and street smarts knowledge (euphemism for insider knowledge).

Hello, the container for Singapore sitting at Yiantian Shenzhen port is waiting for the container vessel from Europe to arrive, unload, load, and then drop off at Singapore port on its return run back to Europe. 

If Suez canal is blocked, the container vessel has to make a LONG detour around Africa. 

And what happens when all the delayed container vessels arrive at Yiantian port at the SAME time? 

So its not just the delay in ocean shipping time, we need to add the bottleneck waiting time for unloading and loading. 

Yes, even if your container vessel is not from Europe, you're still stuck in "traffic" when there's a port congestion.  

Wink.

You get the picture.

Even our big daddy minister (that's why he earns more than you) warned the jam at the Suez canal has implications to Singapore. I bet his message flew over the heads of many...

Most bei kambing "fundamental" retail investors have a hard time understanding why the share price is tanking when everything they've read in the annual reports is blue skies and bright sunshine???

Similarly, they couldn't fathom why the share price is moving up when everything reported in the media and discussions at bei kambing retail investor forums are all doom and gloom???

Don't worry. 

You are not alone.

Peter Lynch is right. 

Most retail investors invest in companies they have no edge whatsoever.

The doctor investing in fishing stocks; the fishmonger vested with biotech stocks.

 

P.S.  I'm not smarter. I just happened to work with Supply Chain before. 

 

Best Advice On Stock Investing

 

Only buy stocks that go up in price.

Those that don't go up in price, don't buy.

Free-To-Play & Virginity

I must share a recent funny episode about this mobile gaming community in Reddit.

A gamer proudly screenshot his rank in PVP (player-versus-player) arena but titled his post as F2P (free-to-play).

Basically he was trying to be passive aggressive against those P2W (pay-to-win) players, implying as F2P, he too can achieve such a high ranking...

Making his "achievement", all the more impressive for all to see.



The trouble with internet is there's a paper trail.

Other Redditors were quick to dig up his old posts to show he indeed has bought gaming packs from the game developer during his early gaming days; and his previous posts boasting his collection of hard to get heroes were coming back to haunt him... 

F2P?

Many were calling him a liar. A fake.



Then there are others who are quick to defend this gamer. 

Look! He only bought those gaming packs during his first few beginning months. Sure, they helped, but he has not bought anything since for the past 8 months. 

For all intended purposes, its perfectly fine to consider him "F2P" now. 

Don't be a pedantic and argue over semantics!



I couldn't stop myself laughing.

It made as much sense as your new girlfriend telling you she's a virgin for the past 8 months. 

Try it!

Next time people ask you whether you're a virgin, tell them you are one for the past 3 days.

See if they catch on to the joke... 

LOL!



Jokes aside, you can see this kind of mental gymnastics in our financial community.


Let's take property.

The BTO flat prices offered by big daddy are very interesting. The top 2 floors are being offered at the same prices. 

If you had bought the 2nd highest floor, do you think you can advertise or pass off your flat as the "highest" top floor in your block? 

Do you really think you can get the same selling price as the ones on the top floor when its time for you to sell?  

Yet you are willing to pay the same price as the top floor when you can get the 3rd and 4th highest floors at lower prices...


How about perpetual bonds?

Now think about it. A "bond" with no maturity date...

Can it still be considered a bond?

Or maybe its more akin to equity in practice?

Don't look at me!

That's like lending money to a "friend" who promises to return it back whenever he feels like it. 

I should get more generous friends like you!


Then there's the home-made definitions when it comes to networth or calculating investment returns.

I forgot or didn't include this or that...

This I count, that I didn't....

Look! I only smoked; I didn't inhale...

OK...

Those of you who knows something about accounting will understand that's why we have Accounting Standards.

If we let companies decide what to include and what not to include, and come up with their own interpretations, then no need to pay taxes anymore!



Have fun! 

See if you can catch yourself trying to justify to yourself or others whenever you try to do something that makes no sense whatsoever.

But hey! What's life without a few little lies to ourselves?

Shh....

My Prediction For STI

If STI bounces off 2961 Monday, it would target above the psychologically important 3000 level. Closing above 3000 will encourage the bulls to push towards 3050 as first target, and eventually 3100 for the week ahead. 

However, if STI pierces through 2961 instead, 2900 will open up for the bears to target. With the eventual break towards long term support at 2500 in the weeks ahead. 



Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

LOL!



See? Anyone and everyone can be a sell-side analyst?

So go start a blog or create an account on those investing/trading forums. The trick is to have as many bei kambings follow you as possible.

Once a critical mass following is achieved, you can start milking or shearing them for profit - that's monetising your sales funnel 101.



Even better if you start giving workshops or classes.

The trick is for Monday class, tell your little white lambs that the market will go up.

Then same week for the Wednesday class, tell your other bei kambings the market wil go down.

This way, you'll always have 50% of your flock swearing by what you say. Wink.



Of course with 50% attrition rate, you'll eventually have to start all over again.

But no worries!

That's why you see snake oils have to branch out to other Asian countries. Singapore how big? The trick is to move from one city to another before your "bawu" is discovered...

Another trick is the "same lamb; fleece many times" scheme to constantly churn out flavour of the month topics. This month penny stocks, next month options, the month after passive indexing, and next, next, next month factor investing...

Or just patiently wait for the next bull/bear cycle once you have exhausted your current batch of bei kambings trapped in your sales funnel. Every new cycle, there will be fresh cannon fodder added to the mix. Have faith.

Wash, rinse, and repeat.

College Degree Of The Rich

I had a good laugh!

Control Kids

Wanton Mee 加面包？

We had a new promoter that joined us this week.

He left Singapore to study in Canada and stayed there for over 20 years.

Came back to Singapore 3 years ago as his mom is ill...

Our story almost same same.

I must share this hilarious culture shock story about him getting use to Singlish and Singdarin all over again!

While waiting in line to buy our wanton mee, he heard the lady in front of him placed her order.

"Wanton mee 加面包."



Puzzled, he asked the hawker when his turn came, "Do we add bread to wanton mee nowadays?"

The hawker looked just as lost and puzzled. Then burst out laughing!

"Orh! Its wanton mee 加面 (additional noodles); 包 (takeaway) lah!"

That's the hallmark of Singlish and Singdarin!

We super efficient or what?

Cut out lots of extra words and what grammar?

Use the bare minimum of words to express oursleves.

A lot of blanks for missing words are "understooded".



We also like to rojak everything.

Wanton is Cantonese.

Mee is Hokkien.

加面包 is Mandarin.




Come to think of it, although I call myself a "trader", I'm very Singlish and Singdarin when it comes to my investing and trading!


LOL!

No Christmas Rally How About CNY Rally?

Don't look at me!

I don't speculate base on calender effects...



Ask those who say they are value, long term, buy and hold "investors", yet when no one is looking, "curi ayam" from time to time. Wink.



The best are those eat finish never wipe lips, still dare to tell others don't speculate, don't gamble!?

LOL!