Sunday 9 December 2018

Death and Sickness - Spanners in the Works.


Yesterday, I've received word that my ex-colleague has recently passed away in Switzerland.

This is the third colleague from my previous life as a sellsword.

And all 3 of them moved on before age 50...



I guess now that I'm 51 years young, I would hear more about such cases as in serious injuries, major sickness, and eventually death.

Funny how when I looked back into my early 20s and 30s, I was "male chicken" sure of myself. Even when I was in that dark phase of perpetual job-hopping, I never lost hope or faith that eventually something good will turn up. 

I'm still young! Lots of opportunities ahead! I got time on my side!

That's the strength of youth! I didn't know what I knew now.



Just because we have a dream, developed SMART goals, and drafted detailed kickass plans up to 2 decimal places; none of them "entitled" us to what we think we "deserve" in life - even if you are Singapore born and raised!



No, this is not a pessimistic or fatalistic reflection.

On the contrary, its about gratitude and joy in the greatest gift I have today - life!

Its like as an atheist, its precisely I have this one and only life that I have everything to live for!

I don't have the luxury of multiple lifetimes like in reincarnations.

Nor do I have the "consolation" this present life is only a full dress rehearsal, and eternal real living is the one coming here after... 



You know what? I just wanted to poke those who are constantly living in the future by worrying and planning how much financial resources they would need if they lived till 95 and beyond...

Then I realised there are those who are more concerned with life in the hereafter than living in the present!? OK, better stop. Don't mess with those who are super confident where they will end up. For these people are even more sure where I'll end up!!!

I've no heart to tell them I'll end up to the place before I was born. I'm made up of stardusts; I'll end up being with the stars. Wink.









23 comments:

  1. Hi Jared,

    When I saw the title, I got worried because I thought something happened to your mother. Touch wood! Lucky that's not what happened. Hope your mother is doing fine and having the health to enjoy quality of life. I wish you good health too.

    No one is sure about after-life. Just be mindful of present life. Have good discipline of living a healthy lifestyle and make sure one can live longer than parents and long enough to see children through adulthood when they can be independent.

    Quite shocking to hear that your 3 colleagues died quite young. May I ask if it is because the job nature of your 3 ex-colleagues is very stressful? I thought European work culture is more laid back than Singapore's. That was my experience when I worked there for more than 1 year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hyom,

      Thanks for your regards for my mom ;)


      I do hope I am healthy and able-bodied to send my parents away when their time have come. Better this than the other way round.


      You do have a wild imagination. Singapore where got Karōshi (過労死) like in Japan?

      Yup, European and especially Scandinavian companies do PRACTICE work/life balance; not just talk about it.

      No, its not work related.


      I know you are younger than me, but at your age, you don't have neighbours, schoolmates, colleagues, and relatives leaving you before age 50?

      Free just buy the papers and look at the obituaries.

      Singaporeans on a whole are living longer.

      But then you see people leaving at age 60, 65...

      Worked whole life, happy happy thought can retire and collect CPF. Then life has other plans for you.


      I just find it ironic that most people are more concerned with financial resources in the event they lived till 95, than being more aware of what if tomorrow never comes?


      I mean if we knew we got 2 more years to live, would anyone be still interested to do passive investing or compounding returns?

      That's how we know whether we investing to achieve or escape.

      I respect Anita Mui for singing till her death; she is doing what she loves.

      Similarly, we would not stop investing if investing is what we love till our deathbeds. It was never about the money in the first place...



      Delete
    2. CW,

      It makes us more grateful for every day right?

      Life is indeed fragile.

      Hungry eat; tired rest.


      It translate to:

      Wear that nice shirt we've been saving for that special day that never comes...

      And drink that attas coffee if we feel like it lah! (Not saying must drink everyday hor)

      Like that girl or guy? Tell him/her so! (The most get rejected. So?)






      Delete
    3. Hi SMOL,

      Maintaining good health is a matter of discipline like what you do in trading. Eat in moderation, exercise regularly in moderation. A clue to checking whether a person has discipline is to look at his body shape. I hope all of us are healthy to live long enough to at least fulfill our family duties.

      Singapore has something close to karoshi if a person is unlucky to work in a lousy company. I have ever worked >12 hours non-stop everyday, including weekends and public holidays to rush for a project deadline. The outcome wasn't good either. It temporarily killed my interest in engineering and left a permanent scar. Lesson learnt. If a person has an interest, don't risk killing the interest by making it into a salary job if one can help it. If one has the financial means, either free-lance or turn the hobby into a business so that one has better control of what to do with the unpleasant parts.

      If a person is healthy and loves investing, I'm sure he will continue investing even if performance drops (but must still be positive). Personally, I don't think it is wise to do investing till the deathbed even if a person loves it. Human body is a machine that wears off with age. Aging will cause performance breakdown. Close perfomance monitoring will tell us when it is time to give up due to age catching on. The markets are dangerous. One big mistake and it can wipe out our hardwork over the decades. Nothing to leave to family after death, how?

      Delete
    4. hyom,

      Yup, I've worked in one such company before... I quit less than 1 month later. Talk about cut loss when we know early its never gonna to work out ;)

      Of course I tossed out those motherhood statements to endure, to tough it out, hard work never killed anyone, don't be a quitter, and all that jazz...

      During those dark years after NS, I was using the Thomas Edison way of discovering what I wanted to do :(


      Its the same with investing/trading.

      The advantage of starting young is not the compounding effect bullshit that those climbing up the mountain are chanting...

      In fact, it would be better if we had lost serious money early on! (The truth is how much can we lose?)

      This way, we would have the fear of "god" driven into us. "God" here is metaphor for "unknown risks".

      That's why those who survived several bull/bear cycles practice risk management - not just talk about it ;)

      Better this than to start "investing" in our 50s or 60s with loads of money without actual experience of living through a -50% bear market?


      How will investing/trading till our deathbed be a problem if we are only using 10% or less of our networth?

      Risk management remember?


      When we talk about investing/trading to achieve, we are not doing it to support our lifestyle ;)

      Delete
    5. Hi SMOL,

      Ah ... not a problem if using 10% or less of networth to indulge in the investing hobby and one has the discipline to stick to it. During booming season, it is tempting to add more and more into the market from 10% allocation to 100%. No guarantee that aging does not wear off risk management discipline, besides performance. Need close self-monitoring and honest self-assessment.

      Decisive of you to quit less than 1 month later. Edison tried 1000 times before getting it right for his lightbulb. So, one key aspect of his method is to cut loss, then move on to the next one FAST. Cannot spend too much time on each trial if there are 1000 trials. For the Edison strategy, I think you made the right move then but did your mother give you black face every time you made a quick cut loss? LOL. Parents always mean well but problem is they don't necessarily know what's best.

      I stayed on in that back-breaking job for close to 1 year until the project ended. The project was a team effort. It's like fighting a war. If one soldier backs out mid-way during a mission, his buddy will surely die pain pain and he will leave behind a bad reputation. It never occurred to me to cut loss half-way. It was one thing that I looked back and felt proud of what I did even though the outcome was not good.

      Talking about Anita Mui, I respect her for having the good money sense to set up a trust fund for her family before she passed away. The Trust fund give out monthly allowance to her family members instead of a lump sum after her death. A wise move to protect her family members, given their bad money habits, even though they are probably very unhappy with her over this move.

      Delete
    6. hyom,

      Not blackface but there were definitely looks of concern from mom and my siblings...

      OMG, my son/brother is a loser!?

      Then it turned into bemusement whenever I returned home early...

      You quit again?

      LOL!


      I always had an independent streak growing up. I knew I was "different".

      Like when I quitted school at 16 instead of moving on to Pre-U. What's the point when I've no clue what I wanted to be?


      Life didn't turn out too badly for me. Hence my bias towards philosophies that focuses on the here and now ;)


      P.S. Anita Mui knew here family members well.


      Delete
  2. Life is fragile!

    Planning for the future is NOT same as squeezing hard on the present to secure more financial resources for the future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CW,

      Its a balance.

      Something is "not right" if one has to try too hard...


      This applies to all aspects of our lives.

      Too desparate to get married, frighten off potential suitors. Who on first dates talk about marriage and children???


      Too focused on academic marks for the sake of it to only discover soft skills like public speaking, negotiation, selling, the ability to read body language and deduce meanings between the lines, etc; can be just as important to succeed in corporate life.

      See lah! Don't participate in ECAs some more!


      Try too hard for job promotions, take 1001 upgrading courses, work OT in the evenings, burn weekends... Only to learn belatedly those who get ahead are those who do the least but talked the most!

      Ar ber then? What do shepherds do? Give up literature lah! Literature is about reading human nature.



      I like your style.

      Free go to JB and around Singapore to enjoy food you like. Hungry; eat.

      Got health go with the missus to overseas for romantic getaways. Feel like doing something different from the routine; travel.

      Got time on your hand can take advantage of the transport concession card for seniors to earn some pocket money.

      I mean you don't need the money; but got side income now can qualify for Workfare. Free money from big daddy "don't take white don't take"!

      Feel like working, work!

      :)



      Delete
    2. Hi

      Do things which one likes. I guess this is the way how life should be led.

      Ben

      Delete
  3. temperament,

    All the best! Don't look back ;)

    不送了!


    If you still around when I'm 70, then you're lucky like lao lee and Mahathir!

    To be 90 but bedridden what's the point?

    But mind lucid and can travel here and there, now that's for the win!

    I don't think Mahathir suspected or "planned" when he retired from politics, he will one day 东山再起 again! He must be enjoying everyday now ;)


    Life after 60 or 65 is not the end for those blessed with long life and good health.

    Its not the money that's worrisome; its what the hell you'll be doing for the next 30 or more years if there's no reason for us to get up in the mornings!?




    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi SMOL,

    Towards the end of the year, I always think to myself that hey, this year has been so good. Everyone is healthy, I am healthy and can work. Life is good. Will next year be the start of decline?

    I think I'm also at the age where I start to see less 'red' and more 'white'. Like you, it doesn't make me fatalistic. On the contrary, I'm very thankful and grateful. When things around me start going downhill, I hope I have the strength to say that I'm grateful too.

    It could always be worse, no? Till then, we make merry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LP,

      I make mom laugh whenever I mumble to myself before I go to sleep, "又无惊无险过了一天!"

      LOL!


      Its precisely we are conscious and aware that tomorrow is not guaranteed that we focus on people and things that matter TODAY.


      The point is not about having a string of goals or bucket lists that we will get around to do them one day... When we have time...

      Feel like eating Tanjong Katong Eng's wanton noodles? Just go! Got car good right?

      That's the role of money - as an enabler ;)


      No money to buy car?

      Can take bus or taxi.

      We make do with the deck of cards that we were dealt.

      Once we are enjoying our wanton noodles, it doesn't matter HOW we got there ;)


      Delete
  5. Hi all,

    Life is short. Cherish the present moment.

    Ben

    ReplyDelete
  6. better say hello before you think that i bye bye liao.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. after reading all the cosmology i make my best guess is that, we can only lives in the present! there is no pass or future. since there is no "nothing" in the universe, you will have to live on forever.

      Delete
    2. think about it, how old is the universe? and why now that you "suddently" appear in the universe, why not 10 years ago?, why not hundred or thousand years ago?, why now?

      becos you can only live in the now or present, so when you "pass away", you are still be stuck in this universe (or multiverse)

      the past and futures are just illusion, so as time pass.

      Delete
    3. coconut,

      Ha ha! You still alive!!!


      I think at this watering hole, only you share my fascination with the cosmos ;)

      14 billion years. Here I am. Right here, right now. Amazing right?

      A speck of dust.

      Like the morning dew, I'm here, and then gone...

      Leaving no traces behing ;)


      And don't get me started on multiverses!


      Who knew knowledge of Science has made it easier for me to appreciate Zen?

      Ask me to study Science for exams I fall asleep...

      Read and learn on my own for the fun of it? I found Science so enjoyable and illuminating!?

      LOL!


      Delete
  7. Hi SMOL,

    Good post. Stimulates plenty of thoughts.

    1). Thanks for the good reminder. I have this tendency to live in the future. Now? Not as single-minded as before.

    2). Reminds me of Temperament's words that XIRR should be measured at death. Buy and hold for the long-term? Must have the health and life to see it through. Feel like poking some others who are too hard-up about investments. What if they (physically) die in a bear market? Cham liao lor! Their measly XIRR locked in liao. No more buts and what-ifs.

    3). For someone with poor health and a health condition that cannot be cured, I am familiar with my mortality. Hence, the "youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall" in Isaiah 40:30 is not lost on me.

    4). Eh? Stardust and multiverse? Got watch Doctor Who? I just started recently.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unintelligent Nerd,

      1. Single-minded focus is a powerful technique just as long you are OK with what you have to give up or sacrifice to achieve whatever that you seek ;)


      2. Please don't mention that XIRR thingy... Its a Singaporean retail "invention" that's getting a bit embarrassing... Someone started it and the rest just monkey see, monkey do without much thought. You'll find people using that excel tool "wrong" some more!?

      LOL!

      Say annualised returns instead ;)


      3) Ah! Awareness of your mortality and pre-existing health issues is already one up on others! That means you have even more reasons to live each day to the fullest! That's how atheists live our lives ;)


      4) Yup. Watched it on and off before. Most of my stardust, string theory, and multiverse knowledge came from watching documentaries at Discovery Channel in the past, and now from YouTube ;)




      Delete
    2. Hi Smol,

      Well said. It's better to focus on the bigger picture. I am contented as long as my passive income covers the expenses. This will leave me free to do the things of my personal interests.

      My two cents worth of views.

      Ben

      Delete
    3. Ben,

      Its hard to be miserable when one is contented ;)

      Delete

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