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Sunday, 1 April 2018

Well, it worked this time!

Last Sunday evening, I had an interesting sales experience.

There were this big group of customers - young husband and wife, with parents of the groom, and 2 to 3 other siblings to the young couple.

In sales, we hate dealing with such a big group. Too many "cooks" with opinions.

It was clear the mother is the matriarch of the family. She was telling others what they should do or think. Wink.

So I approached them using Mandarin.

Was taken aback when the matriarch raised her voice with displeasure whether I can speak England to her or not?

I smiled.

Ah! Got chink in her armour. She got hole in her heart.

No problem, I switched from channel 8 to channel 5.

Yes, our matriarch got lots of blinks blinks on her fingers, wrists, neck, and ears. That's a dead give away of trying too hard. A noveau riche.

Difficult customer. Everything I say she challenged (which is fantastic for those competent in sales reading).

I patiently addressed all her concerns and along the way, added my usual sugar-coated pokes and insults.


This kind of people are used to sales people fawning over them. How will I stand out if I don't do something differently?

I must have impressed the panties off her as she surprisingly "replied" to me in Mandarin at the end???

It was a slip by her.

I pretend never hear and continued to speak in England to her. Not with Singlish accent mind you. I spoke using big daddy parliament accent. She got a hole in her heart remember?

Long story short. They were in a hurry to dinner so they didn't buy from me.

But the matriach promised to buy the next day Monday. She was visibly concerned when I told her I only worked weekends. No problem. I wrote the SKU (stock keeping unit) codes and prices for the 3 home appliances and introduced her to my other sales colleague to contact Monday. 

The matriarch complimented on my "service". 

How's that for impressing and influencing customers through pokes and insults?


Yesterday I checked the system and she indeed bought last Monday as promised. My sales colleague happy. No need do work got sales commissions.

In our trade, we call it "durian drop".

Friend, that's the spin you often hear from snake oils. They only share the successful trades.

There is no such thing as 100% "bao jiak" techniques.

Now to counterbalance when sales through pokes and insults did not work:

Its like pickup lines. On some women, they worked like a charm! Hey! I got a date!

While on some women, they fell flatter than roti prata. I suspect these women must think I'm a pervert!



  1. this is a good experience sharing.

    1. Kyith,


      Trend followers don't give up their system just because of a few losses.

      Similarly, those of us who do sales don't give up just because of a few customer rejections ;)

      That's the probable reason why trading and sales are not for anyone and everyone!

  2. Different medicine work for different people.
    Panadol may cure common headache. Some take one and they're great. Some take two and they're still having headache!

    Some like Rock. Some enjoy Jazz. Some love Blues.
    Same ma. You got 2 eye, 2 ear, 1 nose, one mouth.
    Why we like different thing!?

    I remember, years ago, when I'm working retail before becoming a shareholder of this company.. when I 'poke' this customer. I got 'poked' back by my boss! This person actually bought the product I'm selling, but this person did not buy into my poke!

    Really insufficient experience! Cannot anyhow try next time!

    Everyone tells you successful story, then who is the one that fail? Like what you say - Trust, but verify :)

    1. sleepydevil,

      The art of "poking", like copulation, gets better with practice ;)

      Now with greater awareness on "fake news", maybe people will do more verification on what they hear, read, and see?

      I wouldn't bet on it.

      You can't overcome all the years of "conditioning" at school and home.

      Unless we follow the American way of challenging our elders and teachers.

      Then there are cat people... We question everything! LOL!

  3. I've learnt something, thanks! I tend to think that successful sales people are good people readers and that, comes with experience.

    Probably the reason I failed in my first sales job...

    1. Kate,

      Yes, overtime, we do pickup quite a bit on body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.

      But its not 100% foolproof.

      The result can be devastating when we get it wrong...

      Good sales persons are like coackroaches; we'll always comeback!

      We can see the same techniques used by politicians, mother-in-laws, and religious shepherds.

      Its the same art of "shepherding".



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