Thursday 9 October 2014

The words not spoken

For those of us who are in sales or purchasing - where we do a lot of human interactions and communications - we are quite attuned to the hidden message of words not spoken.

Women in general are better than men in this regard as women are more in tuned with the little subtleties of a gesture, a changed inflection of the voice, or the raising of the eyebrow.

Men on the other hand can be so clueless when you tell him "Oh, you don't have to buy me anything", he really comes home empty-handed!!!???

Next time you read an article or talk to another person, try and have some fun deciphering the hidden message of those words not spoken.

No, not just so you can read CEO messages or Central Bankers statements better, but so we can be better in building relationships.

Unless of course you want to be a rock or an island.



  1. SMOL,

    I used to always wonder why doesn't people just speak their mind, wouldn't the world be a better place? I realized later

    1) There is a issue of trust
    or/ and
    2) The speaker does not even know what he wants

    3) The speaker knows what he wants but cannot express it

    4) The listener filter only those he wish hear...

    So even unspoken words has the same problem, particular with point 2 and 4

    1. Sillyinvestor,

      Your 4 points are all very valid!

      That's how we differentiate a simpleton from the wise.

      As for your points 2 & 4, that's why we avoid talking to certain people in our lives ;)

      What's the point?

  2. Very true, that's why it is very important to observe the body language of the other party as it give true-er message than the actual spoken words

    1. Richard,

      The Art of Communication has always been an interesting topic!

    2. Richard,

      From the first time I looked at your blog, it screams out to me that you must have attended some Internet Marketing seminar or course.

      It's perfectly alright to attempt to make some money on the side.

      But there comes a point you may have to decide whether to treat your readers as your "friend" or as "fish bait".

      Especially when you are using your real name (I hope) and picture.

      Ask yourself this: Would you pay for a course that costs more than a thousand $ knowing that 35% of that "inflated" course fee goes to paying affiliated marketing sites like yours?

      Or put it another way: Would you be comfortable revealing how much % you'll be getting for each affiliated sale in your future posts?

      Win-win is not win-win when your readers are not aware of the words not spoken ;)

    3. Hi SMOL,

      Thanks for the lengthy comment. Following are my answers:

      1. Nope, I haven't attended any course/seminar on internet marketing but I do have some knowledge of it through self learning.

      2. I am trying to be as open as possible with my blog and hence I treat my blog as one of the online income stream of mine via ads and affiliate marketing.

      3. As for the affiliate in question (the course), I like to vew it another way : if the interested participants attended the course directly, they are paying the full price, but if they attended the course via my site, they got some kind of discount/special offer. The affiliate fee paying by the provider is usually their "sales expenses". Just like company paying to insurance agent their commission and we cannot blame the agent for earning comm right? ;-)

      4. I do treasure my readers and hope to turn many of them into friends.

      Oh, btw, all the best to your upcoming speaking event in Jan 2015, hope got chance to meet you and a few others...


    4. Oh, I think I missed out one point : Richard is my real name and I don't see the needs to hide in our online presence unless I really got something to hide ;-)

    5. Richard,

      Spoken like a true snake-oil salesman. Good for you!

      35% of $1,400 is $500 - not too shabby ;)

      You're in the community. You know how readers and bloggers have shared their feelings about being "sold" non-appropriate insurance products when they were not so financially literate during their early days.

      And who sold these products to them? Their so called "friends".

      See you at the seminar!

      I think you can pick-up the words not spoken during my presentation :)

    6. Hahaha.. Sure! Will go support if my schedule permit!

    7. I was sold by my opposite neighbor who was retrenched from her job and became an insurance agent.

      There was no way to run!

      Where to hide?


      Got married. One policy.

      One baby. Add one more policy.

      Second baby. Add one more policy.

      Third baby. Add one more policy.

      Your baby so cute!

      Actually, cute policy coming too. LOL!

    8. CW,

      You used the magic word - "she".

      If the agent is a guy, you'll probably tell him to go "Holland Road"!


    9. From teenager to adult neighbor; still no spark. What do you think?


    10. CW,

      You good man.

      Wife happy.

      You sleep in peace.

      Your "extra energy", you diverted into your 10 bagger darlings :)


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