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Sunday, 18 June 2017

Don't do everything for me


Yes. I am single, not married, and not a parent.

You win.


But I had a childhood.

You did too right?


Was it a memorable and fun one?

Did you have the space and freedom to explore and make your own mistakes?


Remember you had to scrimp and save your pocket allowance (if you ever had one) to buy that silly plastic toy you always wanted? 

Hey! Its probably still in your treasured collection now while the more expensive toys others gifted you were long forgotten and thrown away...


How did you feel when you've done a task all by yourself for the first time? 

Like assembling your first model aeroplane?

Completing your first colouring book?

No?

Your over eager parents often will intervene and finish them for you... No fun one...


What?

You promise you won't do that to your own children?

You won't take away their own sense of accomplishments...

You rather be their cheerleader; not nanny state.





20 comments:

  1. Some parents even top up their children CPF SA. May be they need to lim kopi with you to find out more - Don't do everything for me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CW,

      Don't want!

      I prefer to have intellectually stimulating conversations with you - don't agree never mind! Even better!!!

      Pokes are more fun when the gloves are off ;)


      The point is if both of us were born with golden spoons in our mouths and our paths forward were already paved by our parents, would we have embarked on this journey of ours?

      We probably would be blogging about luxury watches, fine wine, fast cars, and about sailng our own yacht...

      Ah! The unbearable lightness of being!

      Just follow the yellow brick road :(





      Delete
    2. Topping up the CPF SA with their ang pow money and let them scrimp and save to buy their own toys with their allowance!

      Delete
    3. Endrene,

      If I call you mom, can you put some money in my CPF SA too?


      You scrooge you... Children's ang pow also want to "nationalise".

      I think you got the potential to join big daddy.

      That's what they told us too, "I'll keep your ang pow money for you until age 55 OK? Trust me. I sure will return to you one lah!"

      And we know what happens next ;)


      Everyone 1, 2, 3:

      "IT"S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"

      LOL!

      Delete
    4. Ehhh, call me mum must give me monthly allowance one leh. Better let you save the moolah and put into CPF SA! LOL.

      And hor, so much for digging the bei kambengs. I say top up using ang pow money but didn't say showhand lor. Ang pow money is like income, need to distribute to different 'accounts' de mah. That's educating the boys about proper financial management. They decide the proportion of what goes where. Their toys these days all very expensive, must teach them to delay gratification and understand opportunity cost. Now they usually buy things only when on sale. And I advise only hor, never insist on compliance one.

      By the way, I teach them to max out SA so next time they have more money going in the OA which they can 'siphon' out for investment. Let big daddy work hard for their retirement savings and let the money in OA work hard for generating passive income they can feel and touch through property investment. Not lock stock and barrel, kitchen sink and underwear also dump into CPF one lor.

      Delete
    5. Chun Bo? Max SA then more OA? Ok. Ok. Listen to mum. No wrong

      Delete
    6. Wait, sorry need to explain clearly. Max out SA means cannot transfer money from OA to SA. Can retain more money in OA. Then when MA also maxed out, MA contribution won't flow to SA and will go into OA. Like that OA will grow quite fast.

      Delete
    7. Endrene,

      I agree nowadays the electronic toys quite ex. The plastic action figures also would cost quite a bit!

      My time we play with marbles, "layang" (kite), 60 cents plastic football, table-tennis with slippers as net...

      I still remember can afford Bata BM2000 white shoes go to school already got "wind". Everyone else wearing the china made ones ;)

      LOL!

      Delete
    8. The fastest way to grow our CPF accounts is to earn more every year!

      Delete
    9. CW,

      And/or do what you have done - don't over spend our CPF on:

      1) Excessive commitment with property until we are asset rich but cash poor...

      2) Over spend on "rubbish" insurance policies treating CPF money as money we can't see and touch so might as well...

      3) Use it for "investments" when we have not built up our craftmanship through the baptism of cash first...


      Its not rocket science!


      Delete
  2. SMOL,

    I think that it's better to charter his/her own paths. More independent.

    Ben

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ben,

      I always find it fascinating.

      We seek the freedom to make our own choices.

      Yet we do the opposite to those we treasure and love the most...


      We were teenagers once. You think why teenagers have a rebellious phase?

      Wink.

      Delete
  3. Hi SMOL,

    funny, for my son, I didn't ask for anything. Just want him to study well. No extra lessons or whatever.

    I however realize I say or share too much when my predigee is concerned. Lol. Like you say. Own time own target

    Many a times, it's when we get it with our own hands that we know we really like it or not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember last time I always think my friends go "cheong" very happening, when I go pub, I dun like.

      Last time Hk movie hot, Long hair popular, I tried myself too. With hairs covering my ears and reading my chin. Thereafter no more hair longer than eye brow, dun like noisy places

      Delete
    2. Sillyinvestor,

      LOL! You went for the Ekin Cheng look before?

      Now short and "sloped" hair is in.

      Now school discipline masters must have an easier time with hair discipline?

      LOL!



      Both of you are teachers. The bar is higher.

      Other parents got excuse.

      They can blame big daddy and school.

      Like they can blame big daddy and school for not teaching "financial literacy"... (Huh?)

      So not their fault since no one "taught" them how to be good parents!


      That's the Singapore way. Complain!

      LOL!

      Delete
  4. Hi SMOL,

    As a tutor, I always have to ask this question to myself, with regards to my students. Do I tell them everything or let them know and discover by themselves? My ideal answer is to guide them so that they can discover for themselves. That will be the ideal case, but time is usually not on my side. Hence, imagine my delight when some students directly tell me not to tell them the ans and let them figure out for themselves!

    I will say that the advice of not doing everything depends on the person. Someone who is used to walking with two crutches cannot suddenly walk with no crutches. I once told a parent that he is interferring too much with the schedule of his son. At sec 4 and even at poly, she is still arranging his affairs for him like he is in primary school. Unfortunately, it fell on deaf ears.

    Actually being a tutor is a great education for me. I see many cases of what works and what doesn't for parenting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LP,

      I've seen some parents insist their "special needs" children attend regular schools despite the greater challenges...

      It's tough love but they want to prepare their children for the REAL world earlier rather than later...

      And there are rich parents who let their children work at Mcdonalds or retail shops to earn their own keep.

      Not just to learn the value of money, but more importantly to develop empathy and social skills.

      Some leaders have that special X factor to be able to engage with people across social classes, different races, and all walks of life.

      Some can only perform when they are with their "own kind".


      You are not the mainstream tutor. Most are in it jut for the money. Or they can't make it in the corporate world.

      You different. You want to be a tutor ;)

      You enjoy your craft, that's why you CARE.

      Wink.


      Delete
  5. CW,

    I wanted to post this comment at your blog... However, since it involved politics, I'll post it here so as to take responsibility for what I say. I don't wear a brown paper bag over my head.


    For those of us in our 50s or 60s, the policy risks of voluntary putting money into CPF is much lower than someone in their 20s or 30s.

    And if we voluntarily put money in CPF for our children, OMG, that's probably 50 more years before that poor child could touch that money.

    And that's provided the CPF scheme is still around at that time!

    You really believe the SAME big daddy will be around?

    New big daddy will bring new initiatives - just look what Trump is trying to do with Obamacare.

    Even if its the same big daddy party, people will be different.

    We already have the track record of new generation changing the promises of the old generation from the SAME party.

    In 50 yeqrs time, even if CPF is still running, I am 99.99% certain the age 55 withdrawal goal post will be long moved to age 65 and beyond. Or?


    Let's say we have the same benign big daddy, but what if your child is strawberry material?

    In his 30s he/she is nearly bankrupt, and you are already long gone to selling salted eggs... How?

    What good is the "promise" to your child they will be a "millionaire" at 55?

    Far water can't save near fire.

    Your child will be at Hong Lim Park shouting O$P$ :(



    And I've yet to touch on inflation...

    What if our future big daddy calibre is worse off than our neighbouring countries?

    What if the current exchange rate between SG and MY is reversed? 1 ringgit can change 3 singdollars in 50 years time?

    Then those children whose parents bought JB properties for them happy like bird!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sigh...

    The able ones will keep a back path (后路)

    I know of capable Taiwanese holding US green cards and having theirs kids as Singapore PR.

    Talk about diversification. When I smilingly says "so good, I have no such option" she said Singapore is wonderful.

    Of course, I think so too, shares are wonderful when u have different asset class as reserve, not 1 but 2!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sillyinvestor,

      Land owners and people of talent yank the chains off their feet.

      Sheep drive the stake that hold their chains deeper into the ground.

      The most frightening chains are those of the mind:


      The Elephant And The Rope Round His Neck

       

      Delete

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