Sunday, 26 July 2015

People that matter


  1. Some leave early because they need to tug their kids to bed.

    But if they know you have problem clearing the mess, they will tug their kids and drive over and clear it for you

    1. Sillyinvestor,

      Another favourite Singaporean habit besides whining and complaining.

      Giving excuses ;)

      You know how you FEEL about teachers who stick with you to the end and those who have to go home "early".

    2. Lol. SMOL

      True, MAYBE I am giving excuses, but I am totally ok with people having to leave early. And I said it with a straight face and cross my heart.

      In fact, if u read my post, that fantastic team never intact for all sessions. Whoever can come for OT come, whoever left due to whatever committements go.

      People says I will be take advantage of.

      Say what they like, I know how I want to be treat when I need to leave early

    3. Sillyinvestor,

      If everything is "important", then nothing is prioritised.

      With the passing of time, I am confident to say this in public:

      I treat acquaintances differently from my friends, and family differently from friends.

      Those who stay back with me, I'll never treat them the same as those who leave early.

      Jared Seah - standing tall as the oak tree

    4. Hi SMOL,

      Perhaps what u mean is not a party? Indeed, priorities change.

      I said what I said because there is a group of close friends for donkey years. We were together as volunteers since our schooling days. Then as we grow, we bring our second half into the group so that we become mutual friends.

      We when have our own units, we invited each other, have parties. We always clear up each other mess.

      But like u said, we are perhaps really less close now, as we now need to move on to other priorities like kids. I am however more saugine about that. We left before the kids' bday parties clearing up.

      U might have rightly pointed out, it is still a excuse to hid behind a family, but I let it be. We start the party, so we cannot expect everyone to stay. My view is when it's time for someone to go, he should go.

      Nonetheless, I see your point. But I am no oak tree. Or I have no truth friends LOL.

    5. Sillyinvestor,

      That's the beauty (and limitations) of words!

      Some will treat "party" as a gathering of people invited by a host; while some will interpret it as a metaphor for Life itself.

      It's through this process of "poking", bantering, and verification in commenting that we all benefit from looking at this topic from DIFFERENT angles.

      Give you an example: Try defining "networth" with financial bloggers ;)


  2. Like any annual staff function. If you want people to stay till the end; have a Grand Top Prize lucky draw.

    Clear the mess at the end of Party and we have a Grand Top Prize lucky draw!


    1. CW,

      Always practical and so logical!

      I guess some rich people will use their wills and inheritance as the Grand Top Prize to ensure people will stay with them till the end...

      Kind of sad in a way...

    2. Talking about this, I cut short the lucky draw at the end of my company d&d by 15 mins earlier. 5 mins later, I was told I won the 3rd prize of ard $300 -500 but my gift has to be transferred as I was not present at the time of announcing. Haha.

    3. Frugal Daddy,

      If we wanted to leave but stayed back because of the lucky draw, does that make us "gian peng"?

      Life is simple. Hungry eat; tired rest.

  3. If you have to use your will and inheritance as the Grand Top prize to ensure people will stay with you till the end of your life, then not only it's sad, it 's really miserable too.
    The moment you are dementia, you will be in the pig's pend.
    Anyway being a parent is unconditionally for life.

    And of course, you will find all sorts of people in a party if not there is no fun in the party.
    Just like you will find all sorts of investors in the stock market, if not there is no fun in the market too.

    And it goes without saying you don't know who are your real friends until they stay with you through thick and thin. Relatives included.

    1. temperament,


      A temporary setback in life can be most revealing on people that matter ;)

      Similarly, we veterans would "wish" newbies to have big monster losses early in their investing/trading journeys.

      Just like how Jim Rogers tripled and lost everything back early in his investing career.

      It's like inoculation ;)

    2. Oh man! Uncle Temperament, this is my worst fear!
      I once told my child that Papa/Mama is going to give away all their money when they die. My 5 yrs old child cried and say NO... :(

    3. Ha! Ha!
      Don't worry too much.
      Have you watch ""Kids Say the Darndest Things" .
      Enjoy a child's innocence while it lasts.

      "Live to 100, worry for 99 for your child"

  4. Hi Temperament,

    I sometime wonder if the rich, do they really have children that hankers over their wealth or if just not sure if the children hankers their wealth.

    Well, they will never know until they die or pass all their wealth away. I will never know too since I will have nothing much left LOL

  5. How true, not many people are willing to stay with you to clean up the mess.

    1. Yaruzi,

      That's why I treat people that matter differently!!!

      How would our true friends feel if we leave early at their parties?

      What if my mom is sick?

      Then I wouldn't have attended the party in the first place, and my friend would understand.

      What we say are excuses; what we do reveal our priorities ;)

  6. and then there are also those kind of people attending your party of life:

    Some of them cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

    1. Andy,

      That makes the two of us who love to say goodbyes to those people we create happiness whenever they go ;)


  7. Life is kind, unlike a party.
    You do not need to invite anyone and people will come. Some will come really early, and most along the way, and some towards the end. 
    But in the end, after all the fun, there will be few left, if there is any to speak of. 
    And really in the end, it doesn't matters anymore.

    1. Y,

      Glad you are more at peace with yourself.

      From caterpillar to pupa stage.

      Whenever you are ready, emerge from your chrysalis and reveal to the world what kind of butterfly you are!

  8. Those who stay and clean up the mess are your family members
    Friends eventually have to go back their home

    1. Jimmy,

      After clearing up the mess, true friends will go home as they respect you enough to give your personal space.

      Family members don't always help with the mess, and even after the mess have been cleaned up, they never leave us alone!!!

      Giving well meaning advice on what kind of people we should invite, should not invite, how to plan our party, what can drink, what cannot drink, blah, blah, blah...

      Sounds familiar?

      Ever had your girlfriend or wife disapprove of your best friend?

      Or mom disapproval of our girlfriends or wife?


    2. if your family members or loved ones nag at you control your diet, etc its their way of showing concern, try to listen to them if u can

      sad to say after all these years, i have no 'true' friends
      everyone have their own hidden agenda or priorities
      just like acting haha
      had a few close ones but as time passes when they have their own families or career, we slowly drifted apart. but i think its ok, its like another phase of life. who knows next time when we are in the 60s, we come closer again because all our kids are grown up haha

    3. Jimmy,

      I used to nag at my younger sibling too; but I stopped once I realised I'm just repeating the cycle...

      I don't respond well to nagging; why should I expect differently when I nag on others?

      I now focus on taking care of myself first; only then I can help when people who matter request my help.

      Just like we put on the air-masks in a flight emergency on ourselves first before helping others ;)

      Jimmy, that's very natural.

      The Carpenter of Nazareth had 1 disciple betrayed him and another deny knowing him out of 12.

      Who dare say they have more "true" friends than the Carpenter?

      It's part of growing "younger" everyday.

      In our youth, we try to fit in and be accepted by as many people as possible - so we treat strangers better than family. We count in numbers, the quantitative phase.

      As we grew "younger in heart", we don't try to please everyone. Hence the reputation older people can be harder to work or live with... The fuzzy qualitative phase moves in. We no longer "compete" how many Facebook friends we have...

      The bonds of friendship are frequently forged in adversity rather than in days of plenty.

      That means you have a smooth life! Be careful what you wish for!

    4. true true
      i find myself growth selfish haha
      meaning think of myself first
      if something i not happy doing, i will not do it
      last time i still do things i dislike because my friends like it haha

  9. a true friend will advise you not to throw a party la!

    1. coconut,

      No worries. I'm not a party animal.

      I'm more a coffee-shop talk "male-chicken" kind of guy ;)

  10. Hi SMOL,

    True friends are hard to find nowadays.

    U need to eventually have awareness and know who is worth to be ur true friends and spend time with them more often.

    Sometimes u also need to be decisive enough to abandon ur long time friends, bcos eventually u realize they might not be ur true Frds.

    True friends are not jealous of ur success and help and accompany when u have failures. They speak truth that may hurts temporary but cure long term.

    True frds may not stay back to clear the mess, but they will not create mess for u. And importantly when u ask them to help to clear, they have no excuses!

    1. Rolf,

      What you say is true.

      Today is my last day of my 4 days 3 nights staycation at Sentosa Shangri La.

      1 came from China, 1 took leave from busy corporate life, and me away from the markets.

      We need to make time for relationships.

      Passive does not work here.


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