Have you experienced big quarrels at a funeral?
It's usually started by a "well-intentioned" close relative or sibling who question how you - the caregiver - should handle the funeral.
Where were they when the deceased were alive? Sure, now they would like to make the funeral a big grand bombastic affair for the whole word to see how close or "filial" they are now to the deceased. Spare no expense! They can chip in!
Notice they never say they will foot the bill 100%? Just their "fair" share. And they get all the publicity.
Have you been in a hospital waiting anxiously outside the operating room and guess what? Yes, a "well-intentioned" relative or friend will surely say:"How can put ah boy at this public hospital? Class B2 some more!? I know this private hospital have the best specialist for this kind of illness. I give you the number to contact."
People already worried enough and you have to put them through this "guilt" treatment? So are you going to pay for all the medical expenses at the private hospital you recommended? Just as I thought.
During CNY gathering, the relative you only see once a year say this to your face in front of everyone: "Ah girl! You 35 already; still not married? Faster! Don't be choosy. Wait too old to have children you know?"
Feel like slapping this kaypoh right? But cannot. This person your "senior".
If you strike Toto, believe me you, there will be lots of "experts" coming out of the woodwork that will "advise" you how to spend, how to invest, etc. As if they are the ones who have struck Toto?
If a love one has just died, and you are now in possession of a big sum of money through insurance policies you love one has bought. This is not the time for you to make too many financial decisions.
You may want to chase away all those kaypohs (busy-bodies) and put that money in savings account. Wait till you have done grieving - it may take weeks, months, or years. Draw from this account for living expenses, where needed.
Let the money "rot" earning almost no interest. Better this than to lose everything through a dumb move.
Only when you have the presence of mind and a calm heart do you start making financial plans for yourself, and your children, if any.
Seek counsel through you own volition.
In a confused state of mind, it's much harder to tell the vultures apart from the angels.
If we are known to be wise, people will come to us for advice.
Meanwhile, zip up our mouths!
Advice given without asking may often be taken as an insult.
ReplyDeletetemperament,
DeleteI still remember my grandma telling my mother what my exaperated kindergarten teacher told her: "Your grandson himself don't know like to teach others!?"
Well, I was more like "flirting" you know? I only helpful to the girls. LOL!
I've put my foot into my mouth so many times that I guess I finally woke up?
People don't ask; I don't open my mouth.
People ask; I ask back: "What do you think?"
Hope I age well like wine ;)
Hi SMOL,
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's easier to zip up than to speak out, which may also be the wrong thing to do.
If you see kaypohs with "advice" for the young adult who has inherited a large sum of money, should we take the easy way to zip up?
Food for thought...
15 HWW,
DeleteI was like anyone else when younger. Then I listened ;)
Funny you say to zip up is "easier"? My experiences differ from yours.
Maybe you were thinking about corporate world where people zip up when management asked for feedback. Silence. But later at the water cooler, dragons and phoenixes fly... LOL!
Let's have more hypothetical example as food for thought:
1) If we don't MATTER to the young adult, how much weight will the young adult put on our unsolicited "advice"?
2) Have you seen those young adults where they can't function in society on their own? Over protective parents?
3) How would you take it if a very experienced and popular blogger starts giving you unsolicited "advice" on HOW and WHAT to write for your blog posts?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n03g8nsaBro&feature=player_detailpage
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think?
Money Honey,
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcBnJw-H2wQ
Peace ;)
From the Silence is Golden song, there are some interesting quotes about "Zip up your mouth!" :-
Delete"Talking is cheap, ..."
"Mind your business ..."
Money Honey,
DeleteThe real test of our financial "advice" to others will be - if they listened and made losses, we will make it whole back to them.
So far, only the butterfly guy has done it in public. That's REAL conviction!
"Financial advice" without making it whole when things go wrong is just that - CHEAP ;)
Let it be. Let it be.
Wow SMOL, the stories all so true. I've witnessed them all. More recently I've been working hard to refrain from giving "advice" at work. I realized others will take the advice either as: 1. offensive/insulting or 2. repackage the advice and present it higher up - with no credits to me.
ReplyDeleteSeldom is the advice taken for what it is.
Better zip up our mouths and nail it shut!
ckw-I99,
DeleteI guess when we loiter long enough on this wonderful journey of life, we soon see, hear, and experience a lot!
Sometimes when other people see us no up, and we still blur blur "attempt" to give them "advice", we are merely insulting ourselves....
If we are good, people will come to us.
Have you seen gurus chasing after their students?
LOL!
ok i agree we tend to kapoh too much.
ReplyDeletebut what kind of world will it be if we all keep our mouth shut?
you want my advise you pay for it, otherwise FO!
the best way is to open your ear and listen to other people kapoh or advise and appreciate it whether it is brilient or stupid advise. then make the judgement yourself.
Deleteand if you think you do not want to listen, just pretend you are very busy and walk away.
why must you take it so hard when others critise or comment about it?
maybe it is just our ego and pride that is playing stricks on us!
Deleteand when you are in a confuse or desperate states, you start blaming others for doing what they normally will do, giving advises?
Deleteand as far as i know throughout my life, you don't gives advises to someone you don't love or care about!
Delete"The big money is not in the buying and selling … but in the waiting. It takes character to sit there with all that cash and do nothing." Charlie Munger
ReplyDelete:)
haha AK, wrong post, you should go back to the last one.
Deletecoconut,
DeleteSometimes you impress with your brilliance and deep awakening. Sometimes you are so "blond"... LOL!
It takes character to sit there and do nothing ;)
No!
Don't talk.
Zip!
:)
coconut,
DeleteNotice the interaction between Money Honey and me?
He spoke to me with a song.
I replied in song.
He speaks up in plain English.
I replied accordingly.
How would you reply to AK?
to me interaction is science, not art, i had warn you before, so don't blame me. no need for me to apologise everytime i write right?
Deletei'm here to interact, not learn to interact haha.
hey mum! you got in the wrong toilet! this is gents!
Deleteoh sorry, i didn't know you are a guy haha, i should have keep my mouth shut in the first place!
coconut,
DeleteNow you're talking!
look!
Deleteif you think i talk/write too much, you can always say straight, i'll not be offended. no need to turn here and there. i wouldn't be able to catch your meaning.
you know, its like trading (again), i'll say/trade it first without knowing i'm right or wrong or care about the direction, i don't care, i just act upon what i see.
but then again, if i will to determine what is right to say, then it will take a long time for me to think what is right or wrong to say, it will becomes a boring and difficult job for me and i will stop saying it completely.
Deletein private life, knowing i often have to say the right thing, i usually will end up being quite, totally silience.
if you ask my wife, she will say i i'm a person with no words!
so don't expect me to do differently haha, its either black or white, but somehow after so long, i think i get what you mean haha..
Deletecoconut,
DeleteYou the cutest
Love the way you talk!
well, don't feel bad about it, i can understand, its hard to say out loud some times. not your style to say "shut up"!
Deletei'll see if i can improve on it...
hey, the best time in few years of my life, not only my trading but also my blogging....
Why shut up when you can talk freely here?
DeleteEnjoy your free talk time here with no contract.
Let the bloggers zip up for one month.
ReplyDeleteOK?
CW,
DeleteI don't know about you, I like to sing song.
You do what you feel like doing ;)
We have the answer.
DeleteBTW, my colic got married at 50. When is yours?
LOL!
shut up!
Deletehaha...
Delete:)
DeleteHA! HA!
ReplyDeleteCW, i bet you can't even for a few days.
Yes SMOL, it is wise to listen your most "inner self".
And AK71, indeed, indeed. How to always meditate when everyone is running around like headless chickens?
Hi Temperament,
DeleteWhy do people fear? There must be reasons. Once we know the reasons, we will know where we have gone wrong. Once we know what we have done wrong, we can take remedial action. :)
temperament,
DeleteYou also understand the powerpoint king's pattern ;)
LOL!
headless chicken running around .... is that kiasi or kiasu; or both?
Deletei reckon these running around-headless chicken are just too noisy.
DeleteIt should zip up its mouth (beak)!
No head, no brain lah. And anything you like to think of them.
Delete