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Friday, 13 November 2015

Don't Facebook me with a Nick

I think I better share in this post why I've been declining Facebook friend requests with nicks least you think I sombong (Malay for arrogant)!

Let's start at the beginning.

It's was somewhere around 4 years ago where a group of individuals were enjoying each other's company at LP's (Bully The Bear) cbox tavern. 

So much so that the 5-6 of us decide to Facebook each other to reveal our true identities - that's trust and sincerity isn't it?

Guess what? There's this idiot (I say it with affection) who gave us an extension of his blog!? No personal friends and zero details of himself. I mean WTF!?

I just laughed off that incident of "betrayal" and tell myself never again will I fall for it. Lol!

My brief moment of anger turned into curiosity as it must be hard to wear a brown paper bag over our heads all the time... I guess we all have our issues and internal demons to get over...

Who am I to judge? I myself have issues with being called "Uncle"...

Unlike most bloggers who blog to share, educate, teach - you know, those giving bleeding hearts - I blog to receive (free coffee would be nice).

Just take a look at the quality comments received at my blog. 

Do you think its possible without building up a relationship first?

Guess why I took out anonymous commenting?

How to build up a relationship with anonymous?

If you are not ready or comfortable to reveal who you are, let's start with a Nick and converse through this watering hole of mine. 

Baby steps.

P.S.  New bloggers who are intending to use social media like Facebook or Twitter to expand the reach of your blog, leave me out. I don't play that game :)


  1. bloggers are bloggers
    colleagues are colleagues
    can never be friends haha
    u taught me >:)

    1. Jimmy,

      Yup, you've said it right :)

      But that does not mean we can't find kindred spirits ;)

      I never said never. I said friends are friends; colleagues are colleagues.

      Like everything else, these relationships have to be tested through the passage of time.

      Must separate the vested interests, free loaders, and trolls from the jade ;)

      Once I've found jade, I'll make the effort to get to know them better.

      I usually start with a poke ;)

  2. When ex-colleagues still keep in touch then become friends. :-)

    1. CW,

      I would be bored stiff if I didn't have you as a sparring partner!

      It's fun pressing different buttons to see which ones make you smile; which ones make you jump with rage ��

      Hee hee. Must play with players better than me; if not how I improve?

      You have big heart. Not once have you kicked or scolded me yet.... Now that's cultivation!

  3. friend in the ciber world? got to be kidding me, especially when everyone talks about money money money.

    who are your friends? in my opinion only those who having fun together the same way as we like, no money talk.

    1. coconut,


      Who can talk about cosmology and quantum mechanics in the same sentence with snooker and trading?

      And then throw in some voodoo philosophical insights on life?

      The one and only coconut!

      Too bad you're a guy.

      If girl I sure ask you out!

    2. Hi SMOL

      I just sent you an fb invite that I just created? Lol.

      I thought it were common for bloggers to use another platform to chat as Facebook more active.

      There are reasons why I don't use personal acct. In fact, I don't really use personal Facebook for many years.

      If you notice, I am still lazy to activate the ads in my blog after google approved and withdrawn it for don't know what reason. Viewerships is by the way, not crucial unless got income. Which I not aiming now.

      Chill. :)

    3. FD,

      It just so happens the frequencies have increased recently.

      I may be a man-whore, but I guess it gives me a false sense of security that I don't let in any ah huey or ah lian ;)

    4. What is wrong with Ah Huey and Ah Lian? haha.

    5. Trying to bait me?

      Nothing. Just not my type.

      I am not into the politically correctness BS.

      I'll call a blind person a blind person. Not something pretentious like a visually challenged person ;)

    6. 那你真不应该了。:) 留条路给人家走,可能有一天您也许要那条路。话不要说的太绝。Same meaning in different perspectives do have it own benefits. :)

    7. Frugal Daddy,


      You over estimate my influence. Others are free to what they like; just not at this watering hole ;)

      I do choose who I want to associate with.

      Being friendly and respectful is not the same as being subservient, obsequious, and servile.

      To get others to respect us, we need to respect ourselves first.

      I'm not a prostitute ;)

    8. At least you are honest and sincere :)

  4. Sillyinvestor,

    I was playing around with my new touch screen notebook and I actually deleted your comment!? Talk about fat finger! Lol!

    Sorry. Sorry.

    A bit of Adsense income doesn't hurt. For me, it's cool to be able to able to offset part of my fibre charges ;)

    We keep it understated and cool.

    I generally avoid those blogs with pop-ups everywhere asking for our emails... Some even insult us if we click "No" - I decided to be poor; or financially illiterate?

    Talk about marketing illiterates!

    1. No worries, lol
      Your secret weapon for trading?
      Talking about Facebook, there are 2 extreme, one is everything also platform/ Nick

      For mine, I was crazy over castle
      Age game then, I have 1000 over friends but I dun know 900 of them LOL.

      That's why I tag close friends and I dun really read the updates because too many too frequent, I only read notification of close friends posts

    2. Just early birthday gift to myself ;)

      Upgrading from browser based to applications based trading platform - so need extra umph!

      Hmm. Maybe what you say makes sense... I should create a Nick Facebook account for games!

      Call myself Candy or Xiao Tian Tian? Make it easier for other gamers to add me as friend?


  5. Hi SMOL,

    Timely post. I used to add people without a face too, until recently when I get too many of them. I show them mine, and they don't show me anything? Not fair leh.

    Hmm, I also post it on my fb but not because of publicity (from experience, it wouldn't amount to much), but because the people there are different from the people at my blog. It'll attract different quality of comments also. I find that fb comments are more instantaneous and reactive, whereas blog comments are more insightful, usually deeper too. To me, it's interesting to see the two genre of comments lol

    After so long blogging, there's only two ways in which a (finance) blog can be successful. Maybe it'll apply to other blogs, but I wouldn't presume. It's really this: Be friendly and write well. The first is to cultivate relationships with interesting people, and the other is to produce good content as a starting point of conversation with people. Then just have fun and wait lol

    1. LP,

      You too? Lol!

      It's like everyone agreed to go skinny dipping and someone turned up in a frogman suit with face mask and all... Hey!

      Ha ha!

    2. Hi SMOL,

      irritating right?

      Recently I started receiving emails from new bloggers to ask me promote their website. Ask me do this do that... I very obedient, I just say ok n then do! Then I ask them a question, y u have to be so popular???

      Since I started my blog, I almost never log into my fb as Rolf Suey until lately. This is bcos I also receive request from pple I dunno n also dunno why Fb keep sending notification emails to me. I do not know how to disable them. Everyday have to spend time "during shitting" to delete all the notification emails!

      So since I does not use Rolf Suey FB, I just accept accept accept all the Frds I do not know Lar....

      Just realize I cannot call u Jared anymore bcos u know me as Rolf n this is not my real name! Oh...... Hahhaa lol

    3. Rolf,

      Lol! You don't strike me as one who can't say no.

      I've not done or said yes to a single link exchange request. Except one where I was going to add his blog when he wrote me. I told him no need to reciprocate; I don't play that game.

      Then there is this new blogger who went to every blog and comment good article, great post. I caught him doing his clownish antics on my blog and another blogger when both our posts were on opposite views.

      I poked him spear and shield? The new blogger has never come back since ;)

      I'm not into building up followers or yalor yalor groupies. What I treasure are people who are not afraid to express their views and say it like it is.

      And don't take themselves or blogging too seriously!

      I'm a man-whore with standards; no kissing on the lips.

      You can call me whatever you want ;)

      Yan eh also can!

      Ha ha!

    4. Yan eh,

      maybe to Mei Mei cannot say No... haha

    5. Rolf,

      What is life without some exceptions?

      Mei Mei and Jie Jie I bend backwards. Anything for "red colour" ;)

  6. Hi SMOL, 各花入各眼. Straight talking man-whore also will have people who appreciate. New technology, new problems. Funny that I spent more time on blog posts that don't talk about finance related stuff...

    1. Kevin,

      That's because you're a romantic!

      I guess the advantage of a low cost passive indexing strategy leaves you with more free time to spend on people that matters ;)

      Even got left over time to shoot the breeze with free spirits at this watering-hole :)

  7. Ex -Electronic technicians who doesn't know how to play computer games, no FB or anything like that. Blogging here is already taking "too much of my time' or effort, but i enjoy.
    Because i really can say what i want with out worrying about who is BOSS here.
    i always feel funny why i never bother to learn to play even one computer game and yet i can repair/assemble a desktop computer with much enthusiasm.

    1. temperament,

      You know how to assemble your own PC?


      We are all jazz players here :)

      Improvisations and venturing into solo riffs are highly appreciated.

      We are not an orchestra. No conductor; no musical scores to follow :)

  8. Even bloggers also have put private profile ones, what can you expect?

    I think that it may be better to separate public (blog) cyberspaces with personal ones so as to avoid bias remarks / treatment. Maybe people see me pretty than won't challenge my opinions or vice versa? LOL.

    1. Rainbow girl,

      I respect a person's wish to be anonymous. I won't pry.

      Similarly, I am merely requesting others respect my preference for openness too.

      A nick is perfectly OK here. Facebook where I reveal all my personal friends and details, then no. Not when trust and sincerity is one sided ;)

  9. Long time ago I decided not to 'facebook my life away'. 'Liken' isn't helping much either and thus you won't find me there.
    Ok, I know, you were not even looking for me there, sigh.
    Anyway, what is that Instagram-thingy again? That looks interesting .. Need to urgently get an account there. haha

    1. Andy,

      I don't usually post stuffs in Facebook. But I do find it useful when finding long lost friends or old classmates :)

      This ritual of taking a pic of the food before you eat, and sharing it to everyone must be the height of small talk and idle chatter...


  10. Hi SMOL,

    Wah this must be serious for you to have a post ;) agree with you on the openness part since you are revealing your true identity in your Facebook account

    1. Joyce,

      I normally decline without saying anything to those I don't know. No harm; no foul.

      Those I've got to know in this blog I'll send a private message explaining why.

      It's just that recently too many new blogs have popped up and I thought I better raise my Jedi force field ;)

  11. Hi Jared,

    The fact that I am addressing you as Jared now puts you at an unfair disadvantage in our relationship. I know who you are but you don't know who I am. So, I certainly understand your frustration behind this post.

    I must thank you for exchanging blog links with me almost 4 years ago when I was anonymous (still am). Not only have I stayed anonymous, I have become very lazy lately as a blogger. I seldom blog nowadays. I am sure your blog is driving more traffic to mine than mine to yours. That makes you a loser in the blog exchange. Sorry about that but I am pretty sure you don't care about such things.

    It takes courage for bloggers, particularly financial bloggers, to blog with their real identity. I respect that and I respect you for it. Having said that, I will still stay anonymous. Money is a taboo subject and people seldom talk about it openly. As an anonymous financial blogger, I can talk all I like about money. The key about being anonymous for me is to have the freedom to express your thoughts without restraint (but do so responsibly), with no worries about being politically correct. For instance, something like this "I love money. I want so much of it that I can say "fuck you" to whoever I think deserve that." I don't think I will say that in public.

    You are one of the most interesting characters on Singapore blogosphere. I still come back to read your blog now and then. Sometimes, from the comments, I also discover other interesting characters who are new to the financial blogging world. Keep blogging.

    1. hyom hyom,


      Here dragons and snakes intermingle ;)

      That's makes blogging so fun for me!

      We did not do a link exchange. It just so happens you link me, I link you. That's what makes it real. There were no "you scratch my back; I scratch yours" email exchanges prior ;)

      Others have helped me when I started blogging; I merely passed the love forward :)

      In this watering hole, using a nick is perfectly fine. Not everyone is thick-skinned as me!

      Facebook is where I draw the line.

      Not fair to those who Facebook me with their true identities - sharing with me their parents, husbands, wives, children, etc.

      Of course I can create a SMOL Facebook account... Woah a minute! Since when sabbatical from full time work has to be so complicated?


      I really appreciate your time and company.You belong to a small group of fellow journey companions who comment maybe once or twice per year, but when you comment, they always leave an impression.

      Respect right back at you!

      Stay safe; have fun!

  12. oh you were refering to facebook! whats facebook? i have no idea, don't have one haha....

    this is a dangerous world smol, i don't look out for friendship in internet or any social media. if you want to do it, do it with cautions especially you have much to lose, you know what i mean.

    to me thats a quick fix for friendship and doesn't last, friendship takes a long time to established, unless you call everyone you know as friends.

    1. coconut,

      I hear you.

      Acquaintances are acquaintances.

      Friends are friends.

      And close buddies are close buddies.

      That's why I hinted dragons and snakes ;)

      Trust but verify.

  13. Hi SMOL,

    Maybe people already know who you are from talks and appearance on TV so not worth while to reveal to you anymore... hahaha! But seriously, need to be so secretive or not?!

    1. Jes,


      There's a lot of wisdom I borrow from my Hokkien street lingo:

      Scared don't do; do don't scared.



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