Last night, while working as retail sales over the weekend, I saw a sight that reminded me of what's really important and beautiful.
3 adult sisters came into the showroom. Early to late 30s?
One was in a wheelchair. She looked the youngest.
The eldest one was pushing the wheelchair and being the "legs" for her youngest sister.
The middle sister is the "scout"; walking in front and looking out for things of interest.
There were also 2 boisterous young girls of maybe 7-8 years old. Very pretty. Running around the showroom, touching, fidgeting, and playing around with the merchandise.
I soon figured one of the young girls belonged to the adult middle sister, and the other child belonged to the youngest adult sister in the wheelchair. Ah! Cousins!
From the way the youngest adult sister was moving (or rather not moving) in the wheelchair, I am guessing it's a neck down paralysis kind of injury...
"Mommy, mommy! Look at at this!"
"Just tell me," said the mother in the wheelchair. She can't turn her head...
I felt a thug in my heart.
"No mommy see!"
"Just tell me, dear."
Maybe the child is too young to understand; but I am happy they have a normal mother and child relationship. Hope the young child will grow up not changing just because her mom is "different".
I felt ashamed.
I was perfectly happy and glad my mom came to visit me during canteen breaks during my primary school days. Looking back, this is such a blessing as nowadays, not many children can have such a relationship as there are fewer stay-at-home moms now.
But in secondary school, I started to feel self conscious to be seen with my mom in public. Mom not wearing the "right" clothes. Not talking in the "right" accent; etc.
I changed.
My attention now turned to the 3 adult sisters.
How often do we go out shopping with our adult siblings? Young is one thing. But when we have our own families and careers, how often do do stuffs together?
I guess other than lunch or dinner gatherings in restaurants, it's a rarity.
The 3 adult sisters were being themselves. 1 will like an item; 2 others don't like. 2 like; 1 disagree. There is no our poor little sister is handicapped, so we give in to her crap pretentions.
As usual, surrounded by 3 ladies, I chipped-in with my offbeat brand of banter and flirtations (Hey! Their hubbies not around).
I did a small sale; but more importantly, I think I've given all 3 adults sisters some fun in their Sunday afternoon shopping.
I am mirroring what the other 2 healthy sisters were behaving towards their invalid sister.
The more we treat someone "special", the more were are in fact emphasizing their differences.
Please hor! It does not mean we don't give up our seats to seniors or pregnant women. That's common (can be most uncommon in some people) courtesy.
Hard to express in words. But I hate it when people patronize me... Which usually begins with "You people..." (Hence the "I hate labelling" in my blog)
And I hate myself even more when I fell into the "you people" thinking (for that split second) this morning reading the paper on the riots in Little India last night.
thats how our society slowly fall apart, being kia soo and kia see. each care only their own interest and disrespect of others interest. being respectful only in their words but not their actions.
ReplyDeletejust take a look inside the MRT, how many will gives seat to not only the seniors and pregnant women, but also the ladies and the children? these people are almost extinct!
ah ofcos la, must be the FW/FT that causes the conjestion, who else?
coconut,
DeleteThere is hope.
Cheer up!
Yes!
ReplyDeleteWe all must try our best to keep our sense of genuine feelings towards our fellow humans whether related or not. If we lost it, then ???
temperament,
DeleteWhen we go, I guess we won't think about how much we have SAVED or EARNED our whole life.
At the end of the day, it's all about human relationships. We either go with bitterness and hate; or with love and joy.
A lot depends on how we see the world today.
Hi SMOL,
ReplyDeleteI think it is with the 'imperfect' (from the eyes of the outsider) parent or loved one whom we have that would make us a better person, learn about humility, and tame our pride. Speaking from personal experience. I have a mum who recovered from schizophrenia, whom at one time didn't behave normal and now looks quite frumpy, has smoker's breath, doesn't wear her dentures, and talks quite loudly. I do feel a bit paiseh sometimes, especially when I take her out to watch concert. But I do feel very guilty when I feel paiseh. I know I must love her the way she is because she is a great mum to me.
Yes, hope the little girls will not distant themselves from this lady with special needs when they grow up but be grateful that they still have their beloved mum/aunt around.
Endrene,
DeleteThanks for your generosity in sharing your thoughts and experiences with me.
I feel connected and accepted. Right here; right now. Thank you.
I guess it's true "every family have a sutra that's difficult to chant"...