This is a song dedication to Ah Lian girl - a fellow romantic.
In matters of the heart, there is no such thing as being rational or emotional.
There are only the brave and the timid.
If I were a girl, this song would be my national anthem; and The Rose by Bette Midler would be my close no. 2 on what's really important in my life.
Guys out there, I know this is a "chick" song, but do listen to the 2nd verse.
It pretty much sums up all of our inner most fears, doesn't it?
We all have a Rose that's buried deep in our hearts.
Hi SMOL,
ReplyDeletei always feel in the matter of the heart, if logic can explain,you have not really fallen in love with someone or something.
Yes temperament,
DeleteWe just dive into the pool!
We'll figure out later whether we can swim or not; whether the water is too cold or too warm; or whether we like it dry or wet.
Why we feel in love with our heart and not with our brain?
DeleteBrain thinks. Heart beats.
When our heart beats faster, we are quite sure we are in love at that moment. :-)
CW,
DeleteAnd when we start thinking, that's where we start to see what we've missed; mind the things that didn't bother us previously; focus on the tiniest bits of detail; and start to question our decisions...
It's better fall in love with the heart!
all i will add is when you fall in love, do not trade!
ReplyDeletecoconut,
DeleteI hear you!
Not in the courtship phase where we are driven by hormones.
But moving into the "lao fu lao qi" stage, it's safe.
Hi SMOL,
ReplyDeleteLove only when it's worth it. Even if there is chemistry, it's only the hormones at work. Unless we aren't looking for a long lasting relationship, one has to think before leaping.
I 'showed hand' at 22 when I thought it was worth it even though family members weren't supportive and friends didn't think it would last. It has been 16.5 years now. If heart alone rules, it would probably be someone else and I would have fallen in love and out of love many times.
In love, I choose to be an investor, not a trader. When you have the courage to stake it all, you want the odds to be in your favour, not against. Too logical? :D
finding a wife is like looking for a good investment, looking for girl friend is like...finding a tradable trade?
Deleteso when you know you have a very good investment in hand giving a good return, make sure you don't f*** around with your trades, you will end up with nothing.
that sounds right.
Endrene,
DeleteI happy for you.
You are one of those rare "thinking woman" like my older ex-colleague whom I shared in my previous post on:
http://singaporemanofleisure.blogspot.sg/2012/03/beware-of-goody-goody-guy.html
For me, I've never learned to dance...
coconut,
DeleteCan invest and trade at the same time. I'm a hybrid.
Just follow the Army rule:
Don't eat and shit at the same place!
are you married ?!!! what hybrid?
Deletehaha..
Opps!
DeleteHa ha!
Hi SMOL,
ReplyDeleteThought you would like this song too. I usually repeat it a few times when it's played on my CD while I'm driving. :D
Gary Moore - Still got the blues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O_YMLDvvnw
Hi SMOL,
DeleteAfter reading that post, I must say I wasn't/aren't any bit of that 'thinking woman'! Haha.
In my case, I sorta married down. Family members weren't supportive because they felt I 'deserve' better. But my hubby is a very down to earth guy with a decent job. He's very thrifty and a great saver. But he's exceptionally generous with me, even after 16.5 years in marriage. He has no interest or inkling in investments but has all the faith (sometimes I think it's blind faith) to let me do both rational and irrational things with his/mine and our money.
I shun players, no matter how promising they are. Money I can make myself. I have never intended to marry for a meal ticket or to become a woman of leisure. I like to be able to hold my own and to have a spouse who would let me learn and grow.
Most importantly, I'm not insecure. I don't compare my looks with others. I'm happy the way I am. I am all accepting that I will lose my youth and whatever bits of beauty people may see in me. :)
Thanks Endrene,
DeleteWhat a great guitar solo piece by Gary Moore!
We are from the same generation ;)
You know who you are, what you want, how to get there, and on your own terms. Good that found your man early. Most weaker men are "afraid" of women like you. LOL!
You've found a man with a big heart and wide shoulders. Someone who gives you the space and freedom to soar and fly freely; and is not afraid that his wife's halo may outshine his.
I've 2 lady ex-colleagues who were very career minded. Once they reached their late 40s, despite their lofty job titles and financial success, both shared with me they have a hole in their hearts... They were both singles.
I'm lucky I am a man. Man has no such baggage.
Hi SMOL & Guys,
ReplyDeleteHave you all thought about why the English use the word "fall" in love instead of any other word like "go", "become" or a more suitable word you can think off. Do you think the English stupid? Or all true lovers stupid? i am always amazed by why the English is like this or most true lovers are like that to.
becos its a trap!
Deletelike fall in the black hole, fall in the "quick" send, that means you can't get out!
1) temperament,
DeleteHa ha, my england not powderful. I don't know.
But I do like the Rose metaphor - love is beautiful; but do mind the thorns!
2) coconut,
The moment we realise we don't love her/him anymore, we are FREE!
Legal, moral, and ethical entanglements are something else.
{becos its a trap!
Deletelike fall in the black hole, fall in the "quick" send, that means you can't get out!}
Hi coconut,
i can't even finish reading what you write, i started laughing. You are real funny. i like. i think i will be laughing most of the time if i keep your company.
And i think what you say, "have sense". At least at times, you really can't get out.
Ha... Ha....
thats why i love trading and not investing haha..
Deletetemperament, chinese language have a better description of what falling in love is...
Deletefall, dive, multed....you can think of it, they will have it.
Hi EY,
ReplyDeleteHey!
Which family will not think they married their daughter down if the bridegroom is not a doctor, lawyer or banker? Especially the daughter is U-educated or pretty & beautiful!
My belief is if you married the "right one", most probably it will last through your lifetime.
Anyway, not all doctor, lawyer or banker will be a good life partner. In fact marriage bureau statistics will prove professionals or higher educated people have higher divorce rate. This i remember i read long time ago. Maybe need to check to confirm the latest statistics on google or somewhere?
Hi SMOL,
ReplyDeleteI'm probably about 6 or 7 years younger than you. But I have an old soul, probably 60 or 70, and a young heart, like 16 or 17, I think. I'm sure we are from the same generation whichever is the case! LOL~
Hi temperament,
What if it's marrying somebody without even a poly diploma? Family thought it was a big gamble, worried that I can't possibly have a 'good' life. But I think it was just as big a gamble for him too. His friend said to him that someday when I soar high enough, I would probably leave him. I told him if that's the case, I won't be worth it anymore then.
My point is, we do have to think carefully before we leap. When we are in it, we must learn to cherish and be generous in giving. Mustn't be too calculative and must keep that 'I deserve better' mindset in check.
You are indeed very fair; very balance. i actually think how nice if every couple really sign some form of marriage vow on their wedding day.
ReplyDeleteWedding Vows Sample Three
Male
I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.
Female
I, _____, take you ______, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.
Of course it is only paper just like a marriage certificate. But if you don't really understand in your heart and even better, also in your mind, you are the wrong marriage partner.(Perhaps after marriage, a couple will slowly understand the meaning of the marriage vow.)
i have been married for 38 years, we still keep on learning how to honour our marriage vows. Though we did not sign any marriage vows on our wedding day.
i hope you and your soul-mate have the same or similar feelings and thoughts on marriage. Old fashion Har?
1) Endrene,
DeleteI am 21 years at heart.
Hee hee, still older than you. You are mei mei :)
You can call me gor. (Someone somewhere is puking now)
2) temperament,
Like what you've said, it's not the paper or certificates we sign. It's what you do in our hearts that matter.
Despite "free love" , divorces are on the rise. Can't blame parents for arranged marriages anymore...
Sometimes looking back, we discover we have stamps over our eyes!?
Some of my ex must be wondering why they even went out with me in the first place!!?? LOL!
temperament, the more vow or empty promises we have, the more difficult it is to maintain our marriage. (oh my hair stand already haha..)
Deletemarriage is just a legal binding to protect from each other and also the children. do you really need that "protection"?
Deletei know i don't.
when i got married, beside ROM, we didn't plan for any chinese customary celebration or dinner, that plan was later rejected by my mother-in-law, she insist i must hold a wedding dinner, i gave in haha...
DeleteHi SMOL,
DeleteMy Ah Lian style - I'll call you 'heng dai' (in Cantonese) :P
Hi temperament,
*Salute* 38 years in marriage is a big feat for people of my generation. The number of my friends who have at least divorced once is more than two handfuls!
I totally agree that it does take a lot of effort and discipline to honour the marriage vows. My philosophy is that we should keep our eyes opened to see all the flaws in each other before marriage. After marriage, we need to wear a filter and try to look only at the merits not the shortcomings. Easier said than done but that's necessary to keep a harmonious and happy relationship. Learning to be zen is important and just as is remembering why we get married in the first place. Haha.
Hi coconut,
ReplyDeletei think you are wise and fortunate to make a U-Turn or else U & MIL & wife will have problems throughout your life. (Try to pull a fast one eh? Want to marry someone's daughter on a platter ya? Fat hopes?) You must be the "little rascal" then; i bet. And don't forget by agreeing to marry someone you have the marriage vows imposed on you, whether you agree or not.
Ha! Ha!