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Thursday, 7 January 2016

Now that's what I call Tech Support!



Dear Tech Support,


’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate




Dear Desperate,


"First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!’







P.S.  Saw this funny article at my Facebook. Since market today a sea of red, I think I better stop my poking and offer some comic relief instead.

I steal with pride good ideas, but I don't steal credit. The source for this article is:






12 comments:

  1. smol you have a hammer that i can borrow?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. coconut,

      A person who likes to throw stones must always surround himself with cotton wool, feathers, cushions, etc.

      Nope. No hammer or any hard and sharp objects to lend.

      Delete
  2. Hi SMOL,

    Both ACCICB and I had a good laugh over this! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcomed :)

      I think I'll do my best to remain as the "Entertainment Package" ;)

      Delete
  3. SMOL, are you the BIG short?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yaruzi,

      I wish I were!

      However, I did benefitted from the Big Long :)

      I was tickled pink when I read Apple saved hundreds of millions by hedging the USD starting June 2014.

      I was on that same long USD trade starting May 2014.

      That's how I tripled my trading account in 2014 and the same trend following trade helped me got 88% returns for 2015 ;)

      I'm off that horse now.

      Patiently waiting until I see the whites of their eyes before I pull the trigger for my next trend following ride ;)

      Delete
  4. Hi SMOL,

    I wonder what Tech support will say about a complaint of Girlfriend 3.0 to Wife 1.0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sillyinvestor,

      1. If the Tech support is a single guy, he will ask why Girlfriend 3.0 is bothering with an Operating System when she could be with an Entertainment Package? If it were me, I'll ask if Girlfriend 3.0 prefers Japanese or Italian food ;)


      2. If Tech support is a married man, he will tell Girlfriend 3.0 his wife is away for the weekend so he free for face to face "counselling".

      Girlfriend 3.0 already proves by her actions she bad judge of men :(


      3. If the Tech support is a woman - does not matter single or married - she will bitch slap Girlfriend 3.0!

      Women of the world will unit against 小三 (home wreckers). I guess its a self-preservation instinctive response behaviour.

      Delete
  5. Moral of the story. Understand ur own software and don't count entirely on tech support!

    Maybe time to upgrade hardware if software keep crashing... haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rolf,

      Or do housekeeping:

      1) Defrag - have private time together to keep the flame of passion alive. (Lingerie and cosplay time!)

      2) Cleanup - unclutter our lives so we focus on those relationships that matters.

      3) Backup - Remember and revisit the vows we made to each other at regular intervals. (Marriage anniversaries, birthdays, etc)

      Delete
  6. Hi SMOL

    Stop reading this type of article. Else, you will never get marry.haha.

    Just being naughty - Does your system auto reinstall girlfriend 2.0 to girlfriend 1.0 after 1 year? Singapore Man of "Leisure".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frugal Daddy,

      Last night, I was flirting shamelessly with a lady customer in her early 40s?

      Just words and their corresponding innuendos. She responded with flair and sassiness ;)

      I am guessing she's an ex-convent girl?

      Man, we had fun!



      I'm not good husband material. I'm bad with responsibilities. No paternal instincts whatsoever.

      Hey! I'm still a kid lah!

      Delete

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