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Saturday, 16 February 2013

Why People Lie

Lying Infographic

30 comments:

  1. One of the benefits of blogging is I sometimes get unexpected feedback from people I would never dream of getting.

    A reader read my previous post:

    http://singaporemanofleisure.blogspot.sg/2011/06/lies-damn-lies-and-statistics.html

    And she gracefully gave me the graphic above which she help created for this website:

    http://www.onlinepsychologydegree.net/why-people-lie


    I would like to think we lie for 2 main reasons:

    Fight or Flight


    Fight
    ------
    We do it consciously or unconsciously when we want to put forth or sell an idea and/or a point of view.

    Mom, I'll get home by 10 pm. Honest!

    You'll get your CPF when you reach 55.

    It's the worst case scenario. (You mean you know for sure what will happen in 20 years' time. And that's not a lie?)

    This investment/product is most suitable for you. (When all you care is the commission.)


    Flight
    -------
    We are more familiar with this reflex response.

    Especially when it comes to "lying" to OTHERS - be it a white lie or honest to goodness plain vanilla lie (what did I just wrote?).

    I wonder... How about those little lies we tell ourselves? Do these lies count as "sins" if we are religious?

    I'll do it tomorrow.

    I didn't mean it.

    Life was easier yesterday.


    I think understanding why we lie and the ability to spot lies can be very useful in our journey through life.

    Some of the biggest lies are spoken with good intentions and with no malice.

    Especially promises written on water. The state will take care of you... What happens when the state is bankrupt in 30 years time when we retire?




    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha!Ha!
    Interesting!
    We can lie to everyone but not possible to our self. Even if you don't believe in GOD.

    Just for sharing how even a Christian trying to lie to herself!

    By Greg Laurie, Christian Post Contributor

    May 10, 2012|9:01 am

    "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?"
    - Jeremiah 17:9

    Awhile back I was talking to someone who was having an affair with a married man. That, by the way, is a sin, which I pointed out to her. She wasn't very happy with me for saying that, so I asked her if she considered herself a Christian.

    "Of course I do," she said.

    "Well, do you believe the Bible is true?"

    Much to my surprise she said, "Absolutely."

    So then I quoted some verses that identified what she was doing as a sin. And she told me, "That is your opinion. That is your interpretation. You just don't understand."

    NB:-
    So you see even believers can not escape lying. We have to keep on searching our hearts in our relationship to GOD. Of course if we manage to think of GOD 1st before we even put our thoughts (read-selfishness)into actions, we should be doing all right.
    Sorry, if you don't like my sharing of my religion, you can freely delete my sharing. No offence will be taken. But i am talking about no one can escape lying also. No! Not even believers
    Shalom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Temperament,

      I'm glad you picked up on it.

      To me, the greatest hurt and pain are the lies we tell ourselves.

      I saw on TV an interview where the guest said she does not lie for she is a Christian.

      I cringed. !!!???

      The ingenuity of man is boundless. Technically and if we take things literally, your lady acquaintance is "right".

      I think no where in the good book was there written - thou shall not covet your neighbour's "husband". Tio bo?

      Although I don't think the good book is meant to be read in a legalistic manner ;)

      By the same token, there are proud atheists who scornfully deride religious man as superstitious. But once they've contracted a serious disease, they can convert in a second?

      It's almost like a grand bargain - if I believe in you, you cure me OK? Deal?

      Remember when there's a severe recession like in 97 or 03, membership went up. But once economy recovers, some never turn up again...



      Delete
    2. How to know our lies are okay or not?

      When lies can hurt someone; then it is not right to lie.

      When lies only hurt ourselves; then it is okay.

      e.g.

      We are very hungry; but wife is too busy to cook yet.

      Wife: Dear, are you hungry?

      Hubby: Not yet! Don't worry.


      Lying. Right? LOL!

      Delete
    3. CW,

      I agree intent is important. Plus lots of common sense!!!

      Honey! You like my new hairstyle?

      Wow! So nice! (Although in my heart, I find the new hairstyle a bit orbid... Not every woman can pull off that fringe down look... LOL!)


      That's why I cringe when people say they don't lie.

      If someone would to ask me - do I lie? I would humbly (I'm not a saint) say: "I do. And I am aware of the consequences."

      Delete
  3. HA!Ha!

    Quote

    "Honey! You like my new hairstyle?

    Wow! So nice! (Although in my heart, I find the new hairstyle a bit orbid... Not every woman can pull off that fringe down look... LOL!)"

    Sorry,
    i have a different take. i will tell her(my wife) this & this maybe better. But this is only my opinion or liking. If you really like it very much then go for it. Don't be bother about others opinion. Any way that's my outlook in life and she knows it. Who cares?
    And most of the times, she will like something i like. Though not always. But it's O. K. as i have said to her if you like something very much why bother about what others like or think?
    "Beauty is in the eye of beholder" is always true.
    Another words, very rarely i practise "white lies" even with outsiders.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. temperament,

      Thanks goodness you used the word "rarely".

      White lies are lubricants of human interactions. Sometimes when the wheel gets squeaky, I'll use a little of it.

      Making someone special smile triumphs over pedantry ;)

      Delete
  4. SMOL,
    i can't agree with you more the purpose of telling white lies to anyone. The only thing is if the recipient found out then, what will be the reaction? Am i reliable character or "KONG SONG, KONG SONG" type? "Pian Lang Hua Hee" type?
    Anyway, i feel with close ones and kins, i should tell white lies as rarely as possible. Or the situation is such that i think the recipient can't take the truth at the moment. i say at the moment, as you know the truth will be out sooner or later; in one way or another.
    With mere acquaintances or new friends, yes i may use white lies more often, as or when necessary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. temperament,

      Thanks for the "can't agree with me more"!

      I feel very "warm" and "fuzzy" inside now.

      I still remember the first time we "corresponded". It's nice to know we are no longer acquaintances ;)

      I need to hug somebody now... Oh mom!

      LOL!

      Delete
  5. wah i missed all the lies you guys are telling over the weekend.

    put it simply, you have to lie in order to survive, human are champion.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i also found out that the less i lie to others and especially to myself, the better is my trading. thats something i discovered throughout my trading experiences. so i'm not as big a lier i once was haha.

      Delete
    2. and today is what 18 march, i have a strong feeling that this month i will be in the red.

      the market is giving a hard time since december last year, this month is the worst so far, the spread continue to widen as though it is targeting at me. lots of cutting losses. i'll be a happy man if i can break even this month.

      Delete
    3. haha 18 march?? wah so far off! should be 18 febuary, damn i must be hoping this month quickly comes to an end haha.

      Delete
    4. smol, i also need someone to hug le haha.

      Delete
    5. we have a class gathering on saturday and one of my friend had just lost his job of 20 over years.

      he seem to take it easily but i can tell it is devestating to him, a salary of over 12,000 a month!

      we try to console him but deep inside, i feel he had been lucky and had live a successful life so far, nothing to be regreted or sorry. but ofcos i keep to myself and lie to him that i feel very sorry for him.

      what else can we say but lying. we don't want this gathering to be the last.

      Delete
    6. during the gathering, we also talk about investing amoung other things. worring about retirement and cost of living and politics.

      i didn't contribute much, except telling them that i never worry about reitrement, i live day by day. the way i spend my time as well as money is based on todays position or situation. just like trading, if i lost or getting poorer, i spend lesser and lesser and vise versa. just like managing my positions.

      Delete
    7. coconut,

      1) Thanks for sharing your class gathering story. It's an inspiration for me to write a similar true story on my ex-Taiwanese colleague who found herself in similar situation.


      2) Ah! Living day by day is another way of saying no planning. No wonder we can talk and poke each other freely ;)

      It's a phase I am striving be be in - living in the moment. It's a bit counter-intuitive as most of my adult life, I've been brained-washed by this refrain: If you fail to plan; you plan to fail.

      That's an elementary utilitarian small vessel but once I've crossed the shallow river, I need another vessel to cross the lake that's blocking my present path...


      3) Need a hug? Hey! Don't look at me!

      LOL!

      Delete
    8. you know i do over stating "living day by day" right? in actual fact we can't, it will be very irresponsible, like an animal.

      but i over state it becos its a big part of my "trading principle", all plans will fail!

      so we really need some kind of animal instinct to survive in the market place. you still have to plan for executions and reasoning but you also need a plan that your plan will evitably fail.

      Delete
    9. and don't mistaken i'm a sadess, i truly worry about my friend who lost his job, his future i mean.

      they are now living without any future income and worst, he began to show interest in investing. instead of cutting losses, he is planning to lose even more.

      but future who is to predict, my feeling is only up until now that i don't feel sad for him.

      Delete
    10. i didn't advise him anything, nor anyone else, what should he do?

      losing a job is a big thing, like losing in a large position. first thing is to cut loses or reduce position size, since my friend had no trading position, he is to cut his expenses as much as he can immediately! starting from the most expensive one. only to reinstate them after he can find another equally paid job. is that simple but very difficult to do i think.

      and at this desperate state, its better to keep money in the bank instead of trying to look for extra income by investing. that is a no no in my opinion.

      Delete
    11. coconut,

      You did not overstate it.

      You may not realise it, there is Zen in what you say.

      Universal truth is called different names by different philosophies at various times ;)

      I am not qualified to explain it as I've just started on my journey of living in the moment.

      A feeble attempt on what I've learnt looking back:

      If I want to lose weight, all the planning (thinking about it) won't help me realise my goal.

      It's what I DO in the here and now that will influence the future :)

      New year resolutions anyone?


      In trading, many have conceived or written down trading plans. But if we do not ACT on them NOW - like squeeze the trigger, cut loss, take profit, etc... Then we are forever lamenting: Ai yeah! Missed that trade... I should have... Sounds familiar?

      I am guilty as hell! LOL!

      I guess that why some like you have switched to mechanical trading systems.


      Delete
    12. mechanical trading systems is not really a plan, its more of a strategy in corporate with parameter drawn, it has its limitation and therefore should be flexible as well to adjust to market conditions and your capital flauation.

      but if it is a single trade with boundary drawn, then it may consider a trading plan but not a mechanical trading systems even thought it may function like a system or part of a system.

      Delete
    13. coconut,

      On second thought, I'll give you a hug.

      It's OK, it's OK. Patting on your back.

      For someone with dyslexia and asperger, I'm surprised you can write like engineers - clear as mud.

      What the hell did you just wrote? LOL!

      (Engineering friends, don't hit my face! Anywhere but the face!)

      Delete
  6. i can write becos i design it myself, actually i don't like to use the word "mechanical", sound like a motor engine. "trading system" will be a better word. but as long as the human/trader is in charge, its ok to be mechanical or robatic.

    trading system is just like any other system, motor, human body, hurrican, city....it should be able to intake something and create output usually energy. so you should view your trading system in this manner, input orders and create profit or losses.

    so trading system is not really a plan but a creation designed for the purpose of profiting (like a motor create for the purpose of who knows what).





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. coconut,

      You are brilliant! You have solved one of my puzzles of many years.

      Of course I am biased since I am discretionary. I've always wondered why people would pay money (buy systems based trading software) so that they can be complete idiots? Opps! I meant robotic.

      "I design it myself". Ah so! Clarity at last!

      Now I can better relate and view in new light those missing trend following knowledge I've previously read but couldn't put a finger on.

      Bliss :)


      P.S. This is one aspect of blogging I appreciate a lot :)

      I call it "dharma comat". Some call it sounding board or brain storm. Diversity? Throw brick to attract jade? Super poke!

      Delete
    2. even if you can buy a system, you still have to know the contruction aspect of it, just like a motor car, if breaks down, you go to the mechanic, if your trading system breaks down, look for who???

      fix it yourself ofcos..

      system seller, if there is any, would not provide after sale service or guarantee success.

      Delete
    3. i say trading system breaks down i mean losing money or can't profit from the system, not some software or hardware breaks down.

      Delete
    4. anyway, forget about buying any trading system or even copy my system if i allow, you still have to know every espect oof that system, how it function or profit and its limitations.

      best is to design it yourself. it will be fun if you not too concern about the losing aspect of the game.

      Delete
    5. i think i over stated trading system, its really nothing but a fix way of executions through signal generation. no matter how complex you design it, its still will not beat the market even you can 100% follow all the signals.

      win or lose it all comes down to the trader himself. trading system are just nothing but a tool in the combat, but a useful one.

      Delete
    6. coconut,

      It's a bit like the movie "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon".

      If you didn't do the coding or designing yourself, it's like the "Emerald-eyed fox" learning her swordplay by looking at the pictures without understanding the "breathing techniques" (xing fa) behind the strokes.

      Don't worry. I often "borrow with pride"; but I always internalise what I've borrowed to make it my "own".

      I am cheerleader of making your own mistakes - not other people's mistakes ;)

      Delete

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