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Monday, 12 September 2011

Mother or wife – who would you save?

Last week, I shared my sales experience and got some interesting feedback from you all. This week, I just thought it would be fun to share more on why we are all salespersons – never mind if we are working in sales or not.

Part of the trick of closing a sale is to get our customer to get into the habit of saying yes.

And one popular technique is the either, or questioning jedi mind trick – Would it be cash or credit? Do you want me to deliver on weekdays or weekend?

Men use this tactic a lot on unsuspecting girls – Do you prefer Japanese or Italian food? Is Friday or Saturday night good for you?

Never ask a question where the girl can say no. Do you want to have dinner? No. Ouch! Game over… (Well not exactly, but that’s another post for another day… No does not always mean no. LOL!)

But compared to women, men are babies in the art of getting others to do what you want to do without them realizing. Huh?

My ex in Shanghai is the best! And she never had a sales job in her life! She will wait till I am in a distracted mood – like watching TV or reading the papers – and spring a surprise on me…

“Dear, which do you prefer on me? Would it be the shoes or handbag that we saw last weekend?”

Without thinking, I would mumble something like – “Er… The shoes look nice.” Arghhh!!! The moment those unsuspecting words came out, I knew money will fly out of my wallet.

Yup, we will get the shoes (I recommended to her didn’t I?) the next weekend. And once the shoes came, the matching handbag will come, and the matching belt, with the matching costume earrings (phew, not real jewellery! OK, call me cheap!) and the matching dress she was eyeing all along!

So men, never say nothing when we are distracted. Remember! We are only Pentium single core – cannot multitask. And forget the bull-shit about “hyer-threading”; it ain’t gonna work on us!

Women are quad-core i7 2nd generation processors with hyper-threading capability - that’s 8 virtual processors! If she talks, stop everything you are doing and LISTEN to her. Ignore this warning at your peril… (Hey women, I am on your side. I am telling men to LISTEN to you. No?)  

Now that you know the power of this either, or technique, how do we counteract it? Just give any answer but answer the question directly. That’s all!

Do you like Japanese or Italian food? I not hungry.

Cash or credit? Free I take!

If I not distracted, I would answer my ex – What’s for dinner?

Only if pressed to a corner I’ll say - Honey, you look perfect already. You don’t need any accessories to bring out your beauty. And quickly change the subject! (But that’s all in vain. I never win any debates or arguments with my ex though… She says she got headache tonight and I will give in! What to do? I am only a man.)

But there’s one either, or question that strikes fear to all men. And near impossible to wriggle out from. Whatever you say, it will come back to haunt you!

Yes! It’s the infamous question that your feuding Mother and Wife will ask you : “If we both fell into the river, and you can only save one, who would you save?” (Ever wonder why women like to ask such (wu liao) questions?)

Pause! How would you answer?

Now compare to mine below:

I would hold the hands of my Mother and look her in the eyes.

“Mom, of course I would save you! You gave me life and there’s no woman more important than you in my life. Without you, there will be no me. And I know you will always love me no matter what wrongs I’ve done.”

I will turn slowly to my Wife (who is probably fuming mad) and put my hands on her shoulders. It helps if I can make my eyes water on command like Xie Shao Guang (Singapore ex-actor), but cannot does not matter. Just look with lots of intensity also can.

“Honey, after saving mom, I will come back to the river. If I can’t find you, I will jump into the river after you. How can I live without you? Without you, my life has no meaning… Wherever you go, I will follow.”

I will then hug my Wife tightly. And whisper softly in her ear.

“I love you. Promise me you will never leave me?”

And if I can get both women to cry now, it is group hug time! And that’s how I would attempt to thaw the cold war between Mother and Wife!


Disclaimer: I am so full of it… Don’t take me seriously. I am single. LOL!





12 comments:

  1. "wu liao"!

    why not spend more time thinking which stock you want to save and which one you want to dump.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i mean get married and got over with your relationship problem and start making money trading.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Jared

    Very practical advice :-)

    I liked the bit about giving people two choices to avoid them rejecting. Thinking back, I have used such techniques on my daughter as well when she is naughty and doesn't want to finish her dinner.

    It's either finish her dinner or put her in her playpen and ignore her for "timeout" :-) But it doesn't work all the time!

    Be well and prosper.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1) Ha ha Coconut,

    I not a finance blogger lah! I am a "rojak" blogger. I still want to write romance stories, blog about my future travels, food I like...

    To avoid wasting your time in future, check the "My interest" tab at the bottom of my post ;)


    2) Hello Panzer,

    Of course will not work all the time! Your daughter got more processors than you mah! By the way, she very cute!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha! Ha!
    English:- Birds of a feather, flock together.
    Chinese:- Snakes & rats in one nest.
    Why these sayings?

    It's natural ma, you will look for your soul-mate/friends in your "own image".
    If not it will not last.
    No?
    Ha! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ha ha Temperament!

    I fully agree. My "friends" are those already inoculated from my nonsense!

    I not sure whether Jack Neo needs new blood. I don't mind being the next "dustbin" or "alamak"!

    ReplyDelete
  7. SMOL, you are a survivor. That's why you can work in China and now Greece.

    Skipper

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Skipper!

    Thanks for the kind words. LP's cbox rocks! I very happy to see another familiar face here :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. smol, go get a girlfriend and stop dreaming. lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. Cory,

    Yes Sir! My 2 live-in partners in Shanghai are now happily married - I am so glad! (I feel less guilty now they are well taken care of)

    The love of my life is now someone else's wife. And I wish her joy and happiness.

    I guess that's life! Some areas I do well, some areas I suck. But it makes great material for my stories and poems!

    LOL!

    A flawed SMOL

    ReplyDelete
  11. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExWGDNzlWA8&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks Coconut!

    Yes, cannot forget, and will not :)

    ReplyDelete

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